Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Empty



Sometimes I get this terrible empty feeling out of nowhere. It's like, it creeps up on you slowly, stealthily, and then...

BOOM!

...you're left feeling like someone scooped out all your innards leaving you with one hollow casket.

I don't even know why it happens. It's like one moment you're munching happily away on a bag of potato chips, and the next... You're hit with an emotional atomic bomb. And it hurts. Suddenly there's this pull somewhere near the place your heart is, and the muscles twitch in protest. Your stomach flies up to your lungs and when you try to take a really deep breath you can't 'cause your stomach's in the way. Your heart starts beating rabbit-fast, and you're gulping for air like a fish out of water. Your brain's sending you little love letters saying : 'hey, it's time to feel unloved today. It's time to crave hugs. It's time to feel empty.' Twinges of skipped beats, blurred vision, salty water.

It's all too common now.

I swear, these few days I'm not right in the head. I need a really hard knock back to reality. But thing is, what do I need?

Maybe I just need something to fill me up again. Not food--god knows I've tried that--but something else to un-empty me.


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