Alone

There are some moments when all I feel like doing is cry. For no reason at all. 

It comes on suddenly, builds to a crescendo, and wraps around my entire being. And it keeps building. And I don't know why it happens, I don't know how to stop. All I know is, the more I fight it, the more it builds, and the worse the fall. Allowing tears to fall became a necessary weakness.

Every tear brings down a wave and soothes away the ache. 

Some times people try to soothe this ache. But I don't know how to react, I don't know how to show weakness to them. And I became a hurricane to throw them away before the pressure throws me away. And the tears fall when I'm alone. 

I lament about being lonely, when I'm surrounded by people waiting to help. I don't know how to let them in. I've never thought of myself as stubborn. But I'm starting to think I am. Stubborn about looking invulnerable. Insisting that I'm indestructable.

I am lonely, because I don't know how not to be.