What I Miss(ed)

 Was watching a few rom coms these past days, aimed at various ages. 

But damn, different age groups have such different experience in dating. And, me, pushing thirties, still find some of the younger boys cuter than should be. Absolutely adore it when they rub the back of their necks when they're awkward or shy---damn thing makes something in me flutter like old ladies' plastic bags. 

And yet, these are the little things that you see only in younger age groups. Even the movies reflect real life. 

I suppose older men tend to lose these little quirks as they grow in confidence and experience. And at my age, most men are already more men than boys. 

But damn, wouldn't it be nice to experience the awkward straightforward passion-driven stupid courage boys have when they're feeling strongly about something, someone? Instead of the baggage-loaded, hesitant, jaded, heavily-debated guarded men of my age?

But then again, I've always been attracted to cute boyish specimens; and then lament the almost inevitable relative immaturity. 

Life's hard. 

I just wish I had the experience. The awkward flex. The shy glances. The super-cliched things in teen romcoms. All those things I missed. 

Instead of all these things I miss.