Infatuation, Admiration and Crushes

I'll admit to having 'fallen in love' many times. It's hard not to, what with my easy obsession. I've 'crushed' on people I've never seen before, people who doesn't know I exist, people who's just that close, but I never could have reached.

More so, considering that I think all guys who can carry a tune, with his fingers or his voice, incredibly cool.

I've been secreting this away inside me, and that's sort of the darkest side of me. Then I thought, why secret it away? Didn't I complain I care too much? It's the best way to start, eh?

Uh, to be frank, no. But *shrugs* whatever.

Actors and singers aside, I've had only one or two people I sort of admire. Not the "idol" kind, but... Yeah. You get it.

Right. So what if all of them can carry a wicked tune on their choice of instruments? It's incredibly cool, alright? I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in thinking that.

But these are just admiration, right? It's just plain, Wow, they can do that and it's cool! , right?

But it's got me thinking. Is there a line that separates the three? Infatuation, admiration, and crushes? I mean, there's gotta be something you admire in your crush that made you fall head over heels, right?

All my life I've been raised in an all-girls school. Hell, even all of my near cousins are girls. That's sort of why I don't really find girls who can carry tunes cool, maybe because I've seen many. Maybe because it's not that far out of reach. Even I can carry a tune, somehow. *giggles crazily*

I don't really know the difference between the three. What actually is infatuation? How do admiration and infatuation differ? Argh.

Why are these things haunting me?


I must admit though, I've never really thought of that before this. Before all of this... fanfiction. Well, maybe once or twice, but still. It's weird, but maybe it's a part of growing up. Maybe it's a part of all this... going-into-the-community-after-being-locked-in-a-girls-environment thing. You get it.

Girls school, meet your negative side.

I think--still do, mind you-- that falling in love is a slow long process, that you won't know you're in love. But I also think that it makes your heart beat like crazy when you see that ONE person. Hmm.

Well, since I haven't found someone that can really make my heart beat, I'm gonna stick to admiration for now. I"ll see if I"m brave enough to conquer my fear of your opinions when I actually meet that someone.

Cheers.