Trapped

Just a really short one, but I have to get this out.

Do you ever feel trapped? In life, in body, in mind; whatever. Being unable to say what you want -- need -- to say, unable to do what you want to, unable to tell others what you really think? Being restrained from letting go, cut down at each path you take, held back from all the decisions you want to make. Being helpless to the current of events, vulnerable to reality's manipulation, and being corroded, bit by bit, until you're nothing but an empty shell.

Do you ever feel trapped?

I wonder what it's like to be physically trapped. People unable to speak their mind due to certain deformities, unable to go on a rollercoaster ride because of a weak heart. People too weary to have the strength to voice out their needs and wants. To be only a spectator, but never a participant. To only watch from afar all those fun they're having, and nurse your own sorrows with self-deprecating laughter.

I guess all that will come with age. We all grow old, we all will someday lose the ability to be free, being trapped in a constantly aging body, decaying, deteriorating; while the twenty-year-old hearts yearn to fly, to run, to jump and skip gaily. Sometimes I wonder how frustrating that will be. Sometimes I wonder how tortuous it'll be to have it dangle in front of your eyes, but to never have the strength or the ability to own it.

Shorter hands = harder to catch?

Twenty is an awfully big number. It's beginning to show me parts of the world in a different, clearer perspective. There are so many shady parts, so many dark black abyss that forces everyone into a constant tiptoeing around, narrowly missing a lurking landmine, or dodging air missiles while trying to keep their balance. So many traps hiding, lurking, waiting for the right moment for you to fall in.

As for being trapped, that's the part that I've recently read and witness, and the one my free soul fears the most. And to think that all I've read about are just physical cages -- aging bodies and deformities... I have a feeling that being trapped in body is much much better than being trapped in life, but that's another story for now.

Right. I've half a mind not to post this due to all the nonsensical things I just spouted. Ahh but whatever, this site is just for me to spew all the trash in my head. Having someone else read them is just a very very very nice plus. =)

Tally-ho, folks.