I guess I just feel like.
Like climbing an unending hill for no reason that I can see.
What's waiting on top? Is there even a top?
You talk about the climb, but all I can is is deep penetrating darkness. I have no companion, because god knows I love my solitude; god knows how much I fear opening up myself again to non-solitude.
I wish I am not like this, but if wishes were horses, i'd be a billionaire from the horsey selling.
Sometimes I wish I can just shut off that aspect of my brain that asks inappropriate whys whats and ifs. Sometimes I wish I'm not me, and that I don't worry so much about who I am and what I'm doing here, or why I'm doing what I'm doing. Sometimes I wish I could just let things be, and quit thinking up scenarios that are ridiculous.
Sometimes I just wish I could stop feeling.
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