不要吓倒。。。

我还是我啦。i'm still who i am. still the elizabeth-who-is-named-after-a-car-and-a-dog. just another ultimate plan to improve my chinese. so. there. just not to let u guys get a shock.

刘轩，暂时爱上你。

先说明，我的华语程度，还是处于那种小学四年级程度，这还是我第一次，真正自愿写出的第一篇以华语为主，像是文章又不是文章的东西，还是我第一次用电脑以华语传达自己的思想。所以，如果错别字多，语病多，我只能说，请多多指教。 T.T

昨天听了刘轩的讲座，觉得自己真的有点逊色。他给我的第一感觉就是--刘墉年轻，帅气的版本。一开口说话，声音好好听。

其实，在刘墉今年来马演说前，我是几乎没看过他的书的。我妈每天都跟我说刘墉的“创造自己”啦，“超越自己”啦，让我去读。但我从来都没看，因为我其实是一个（朋友说的哦）“ang mo sai",从小就看英语书，英语戏长大的，看华语书也只有小学时期。上了中学，开始忙了，时间少了，看书的速度自然而然地必须快起来，而我看得最快的书，就只有英文书。而我可说是个无药可救的浪漫族，英文爱情小说又写得特别。。。so, 就这样，华语退步，到了一种只有我了解自己在写什么的一种境界。。。

刘轩的讲座，对我来说，前所未有，让我受益不浅。他让我学会以一个完全不同的角度看世界，以不同的心态去做每一件事，他那种Everything's cool的态度，实在令人佩服。一个人在那种环境下，还能觉得自己这副样子，很酷，很新鲜，是我，早就喊苦了。。。看着别人享受，自己受苦，虽然是自己的选择，我想，是我的话，退堂鼓打了千百次都不够。但刘轩竟能在那种一无所有的环境里觉得这很新鲜，我只能说，敬。我想，也许这就是我妈逼我看刘墉的书的原因吧，因为我妈想把我那这种奇怪的人生观念改变一下；也许也因为她不是刘墉，但想培养出一个像刘轩一样的孩子。哈哈，好像失败咯。。。

回到刘轩。他最令我羡慕，仰慕的地方不只是因为他对人生的这种看法。其实，我整个讲座里眼睛睁得最大的时候，就是他诉说哈佛大学里的生活。Harvard. it's not a simple thing. 还有，他为什么能进到哈佛，还考进我梦里才能见到的Juilliard音乐学院？！我本来就是一个稍微(don't laugh, this isn't an understatement. ) 倾于崇洋派的，也因为是看着英语电影长大的，一直都想着--那里真的是这样吗？看到外国留学回来的学生，总是羡慕得半死。想象得到，我听到刘轩口中流出的英语时，眼睛都来不及眨的那种状态呢。。。 一个能够到Harvard去的人，背后一定下了不少功夫，经过多少的苦，才能打好一个这样的基础。所以说嘛，成绩是很重要的。

刘轩的勇气也是我敬佩他的原因之一。一个人要放开一切，到一个完全不熟悉的环境去，勇气得多大，思想得多开放，身心得多坚强。刘轩，他放开手中的一切，背着背包，就到处去流浪了。也许很多朋友都会羡慕他，但谁想过它背后的故事，下过的一番努力呢？放开自己所有的，去迎接一个全新的东西，也不知道会发生一些什么，这种勇气，我没有。可能我一直以来都是那种名副其实的温室里之花，对什么都没有自己的意见，也没有自己的看法，一直都是在盲目的跟从，在家是这样，在学校更不用讲。也许，这就是我们教育失败之处，也就是我妈要我看看刘墉的书的原因（还是到回来了）。。。我觉得刘轩迷人的地方莫过于他对自己的自信，自己的主见。而我，呃，还有很长的路。。。

还有一点---流浪。我认为刘轩，他找到了自己想做的事，也做到了自己想做的事。他好像找到了自己活着的目的，找到了自己能够做的事--那事儿还能成为他人生中的事业---，找到了自己，非常不简单。我想做的事很多，但有时想来想去，这些事儿，若成了我的事业，我多半会饿死街头。我爱写作（当然是用英文），但全世界比我更厉害，更会写的人，随便丢块石头都能砸到。说到音乐，更不用讲。我的钢琴第8级，还是混着过的呢！这些都是我喜欢做的事，但我能像刘轩一样做自己喜欢做的事的那个机率，0.1都不到。。。

刘轩给我的另一个印象就是，他非常了解自己，认识自己。他知道自己要的是什么。而到现在为止，我觉得我都还没找到真正的自己，总觉得自己一直为了某些东西在变，变得不是以前的自己。可能我也需要流浪，才能知道自己真正属于哪里。。。到现在为止，只有在音乐里才感觉到自己最舒服，但可惜自己的音乐细胞。。。还是不讲好。写作这个问题，更不用说。

现在，我想，我还是从最小的做起，也就是慢慢改变自己的心态，让自己学会那种Everything's cool的心情。希望有一天，我也会找到自己想要的生活方式，然后像刘轩一样活得那么自信又灿烂。

Finally, the wait is over

gosh, i can hardly wait for the hols to start... why? well, mainly because that means exam is over. i've just finished--and by just, i mean really, i'm in school typing on my blog right now--my last exam with is like the most stereotype exam that i've ever had. um, hello, have anyone ever had an examination that you just memorize everything on the book and voila, you get all correct? not that i mean i can get all of themm right, i mean, my memory's a bit faulty and...anyway, you know what i mean.

this saturday is the camp i've been like dreading the whole year. i think i've mentioned before(and an awful lots of time at that) that i simply detest camps. i dunno why, maybe it's just a weird kinda phobia. we're in charge of the programme book and man, it's like a really simple thing made hard. i can hardly hold myself back to kill someone. even tho most of it is probably built oup from the tension of the exams.

this holidays dun mean enjoyment tho. i will be--and happily announcing this--taking my L license this holds. it probably means nothing, but watever. i'm still very excited.

and books. tiff, i simply ADORE Mr darcy!!! i mean, well, it might be a little too romantic and stuff, and really cheesy, but still! i love cheesy romance. it's so....intriguing. anyway, fot those of you who havent read the book, it's a bout this gal who loves mr darcy so much that she actually thinks that she'll marry him, went on a tour in london and saw the man himself. something like time travel, or the meetings of different worlds, old stuff, with a whole new kinda twist. i love it. partly because i'm also dying for Mr darcy, altho i'm a teensy bit more realistic. ok, maybe not that teensy.

uh oh. bell just rang. more later.

party pics.

my first party

i think i'm still living a dream.

it's not actually my party. i kinda hosted it, but it was for another girl...kinda a surprise. but it was real fun. i hoped everyone enjoyed it. they sure seem that. anyway, i'm just writing so that it doesn't like, disappear from my memory.

it was on friday, the 19th of february. i hosted it for priscilla, who you might know as wen yun, whose b'day was on the 22nd. it was still CNY, you see, so it was kinda a CNY/b'day party. my parents went to school to fetch all of them, and of course it was kept a secret from P. i still cant belif she din figure it out. we were being really not subtle about the whole thing. well, whatever. we reached my home and all of them had a really embarassing--for me--tour around my house, pondering on all my childhood/idiotic/embarassing photos.

then we had dinner while my parents left the house( partly to give us our privacy). we had steamboat and were really kinda steamy, especially with all the 38 (sampat) talk, from all of us. wen mei insisted on watching a movie, and ci xin chose sorority row, which had almost everyone freaked out. can you imagine if they had saw SAW or the Omen, or whatever? anyway, i cleared up and then everybody stood by for the surprise--the cake.

P was actually quite--no offense, P, if you're reading---blur about it. she was actually singing the bday song with all the others, until she realized it was for her. i couldn't actually see her xpression, coz we had, as usual, being dramatic and all, turned off the lights. so, there. but she was definitely surprised, and well, i could say, nearly fell off her chair(or sofa). in quite a blur then, coz i can't really remember all that happened, we cut the cake ( yes, we) and took some pictures, which are really 38, and well, the pictures i'm going to post are really those when we are still sober.

then, instead of finishing the movie we started, we headed upstairs to --yep--karaoke!! and i really can't put the scene in words, as you can see, i'm speechless. not by the level of fun, which is really beyond imagination, but the 3838383838383838 things we did. maybe, when i'm outta my mind, i'll post the videos ( yes, someone went ahead and videoed the whole embarassing thin) up here. we atarted by singing our theme song--ah mei ah mei, which stands for wen mei, and suited her perfectly, and i think you can imagine how wild we went over that song. then we reverted to jay chow, eventually to taylor swift and then a few others and retired into my room for games.

for games, we had the sentnece game. first, (of course, at first, no one knew how it went xcept me) we put our names in a box. then any ohter ppl names in another box, whether it's a celeb's name or watever. then, a place , and an action in another. then, we had to draw one from each box and put it in a sentence. for example, Wen Yun and Neyo had a wedding in the storeroom... and Big Beauty (which is wen yi, who had the guts to claim herself so) and Mr Bean took off their clothes in the cupboard in 5sc1... conclusion is, we all had a good laugh. then we had the game MURDER WINK. it was fun, what with all the blur blur cops and the subtle murderers.

then it ended, at about 12.30 a.m. and even so, everybody was reluctant to go back (i'll take that as a sign you guys enjoyed it). and so, the dream ended. the very real dream which actually happend.

there, i really hope we have the chance to do this again before we all go on in our separate ways. this is the meaning of friends, of school, and of friendship. after graduation, well, i guess, we won't have that chace again. i think we all agree that we should have one prom night of our own right after graduation and SPM, right?

NILAI

the nilai trip was by far the most interesting college visit i've ever visited. today's saturday, and also a studying day. but the whole of us 5sc 1 girls went on a trip to visit two colleges--Nilai and INTI. in Nilai, we were brought to the hospitality block to learn about --- COOKING!!! we made cream puffs, which they called choux pastry, which i think is rather classy. and we learned to make bread and butter pudding... which is really delicious... anyway, if you want more than the pics below, go to my facebook!!! and try not to be hungry when watching the pics...it's gonna be quite a task...

our "crafts"
mine is the right one in the front... beautiful, ain't it??

the chef's work... the chef worked with mariah carey, michael jackson, bill clinton, the sultan of brunei.... and many celebrities... god... envious...

top view...
explanation..

AVATAR -- I SEE YOU

I see you.

yes. that'll be the sentence of the year. i know it's a bit too soon in the year to say that, but it's really really meaningful. i don't want to spoil the movie, but i just wanna say, james cameron is the greatest director ever.

i see you. i see into you, i see of you, i see onto you. respect, love, trust... there's so much in just one little sentence, and it's only three words. i dunno, but it speaks a lot. look at the movie and you'l understand.

savages. they say the Na'vis are savages. i mean, yes, i see their point--they live in trees, like animals, they communicate mostly with cries and yells. But, like the lyrics "you think i'm an ignorant savage..." the humans are more savage than the Na'vis. they kill, they murder without mercy, they destroy everything. the Na'vis respect the forest, they care and the do not murder without reason, and they definitely do not murder with pleasure. but humans... humans kill for pleasure. so, here's the real question--who is the savage? the Na'vis, or us?

i choose you. there's plenty of love, trust and innocence in this heartwarming movie. the Na'vis trust people so easily, they love, they believe. how i wish i can live in that kind of world, where there are no hate, revenge, spite, or everything of that sort. it's a wonderful thought, yes, but i believe, despite my beliefs that they do exist, i will yet get to live in that world. But i do believe.

avatar. i love the ending. i have thought they wouldn't be together, after all, they are from different worlds. but the ending, it makes this message clear--we are all the same.

we are equals.

photos...grossing you guys out...

here are a few shots we took during the dissection i told you bout. my cousin and i were the surgeons for the day, so you'll see a lot of us.. and the frog... see if you can detect which is the shot with the frog's testicles... ;P

p.s. the pictures' are in chronology form... from bottom up... mind this, kay???

frog... frog... FROG?!

twas a sunny monday when i crought a frog to school, heart heaving with the pain of pending separation. sigh, the frog's gonna die today. so long, my dear frog. hope you're not the prince i wanted.

yes. i killed a frog on monday, just because curiosity got the best of me. we dissected a frog, and mutated it beyond the morals of humanity. i know, i tried not to cause it any unnecessary pain, i drugged it until it's small little beating heart stopped beating.

the dissection was one of the biggest attraction i'd plan to attract members for the maths and science club, our club being almost hiding behind the skirts of others for too long. but i have to admit, even if it was cruel, it was a huge success. my club has now officially more than 40 members, better than last time.

i was so hoping it wouldn't feel any pain during the dissection, but halfway throught the dissection, it's heart started beating again. i was so scared, my guilty conscience getting the best of me, but i tried to convince myself, it was purely for educational purposes. my science geek part in me keep telling me that it can't feel a thing, that the beating of the heart is involuntary, but the writer part in me kept making up things... things.

but, looking at the beating heart, it was like a miracle. this little thing just keeps pumping till the end of the frog's life, our heart pumping till the end of our lives. i don't wanna gross you out, but even when we cut out the heart to end the frog's so-called agony, it was still pumping, even though it is no more connected to the body.

i couldn't sleep that night. i prayed for it, but deep in my heart, i knew, there's gonna be a time when i'm forced to do that again.

anyway, if i can get the pictures for the dissection, i would--i repeat-- i WOULD post it here!!! so, don't gross out and tell me waht you think!

New Year

and again, we bid goodbye to yet another year.

looking back at 2009, it's been an eventful--if not interesting--year. learning new things, new school stuf that i really don't like, saying goodbye, everything...

i dun really have much to say, but it's kinda sad... the new year is hhere too fast, for all of our sake...i'm 17 now, no more sweet sixteen. coming of age, there's gonna be a lot more responsibilities to come, more burdens to bear, more weight to pull me down to earth, preventing my freedom. it's weird, you know, thinking that after this year, i would be leaving for elsewhere to further my studies, assuming that i CAN further my studies, that is. it's just, after all those years of fantasizing about leaving this town, this country, these people i've come to know, that day's coming soon. frankly, i think everybody fantasizes leaving the confines of their so-called home sweet home. but when that day is right under your nose, only then you'll realise it's really home sweet home.

it's gonna be a frantic year, this i can promise you. we all have to grow up, and be tied to the chains of a routined life.

so, i'm not gonna say HAPPY new year, so, LUCKY NEW YEAR then...