A Meaningless Dreary Post Designed To Destress Myself

Adjusting.

Acclimating.

Alleviating.

It's been exactly one month since I've got to this new place, and to think that there were so many new experiences for me to write about....

And I didn't. As per usual.

Perhaps I really need to get my priorities straightened out. Writing, studying, socializing, reading. We spend so much time immersed in the current flow of events sometimes we forget what was it that we promised ourselves we'd do, some few months ago.

This is so me. Like, GOD, that IS me. 

Anyway, don't really have time to write. Don't really have time to do anything but go to school, go to activities, travel back home and trying to squeeze some studying in between all those. Sometimes I wonder if it's me, or maybe time just has a grudge against me. Probably me and my insatiable need to get involved in all interesting activities.

Looming tests and unending piles and piles of lectures to go through. Sometimes I wonder what's the point of all this. What if I just toss 'em all to the back of the room and sleep the day away? What if I hadn't choose this path and continued on the road less travelled upon? 'What' and 'if'; amazing, how the most innocent words can be combined to give the greatest mystery in life.

Ah, the pointless ponderings. No use meandering down a path with unforeseeable ends. Sometimes I wonder if I really do possess an ounce of courage. I try; really I do. I look at cockroaches and say 'hand me those slippers' though my knees are knocking violently. I stare down high towers with nothing but a string connecting me to another meagre string and say 'Push' when all I really want was to run away. I talk to strangers, ask for directions in foreign languages, stare down hostile dogs, go on stage with nothing but a blank head and a microphone; just to prove that fear cannot conquer me.

Good doggie, cute doggie, stay-the-hell-away-from-me-doggie-please-or-I-might-shit-my-pants-doggie

It's funny, the things people do just to prove something. Maybe I'm just trying to convince myself I can conquer fear, that I am brave, that I do possess courage.

But what are those little things compared to the courage in facing the unknown? The courage to chase your dreams and not knowing what lies ahead. The courage to overcome obstacles and abandon familiarity?

I am nothing but a coward.

Ah. I'm getting off topic. I came here wanting to unload my homesickness upon you hapless souls, but ended up here instead. But I guess that's just life. Perhaps someday in the future I would not be where I expect to be. *fingers crossed*

Until then, I would continue down this path I chose, for it is this path that I chose, and it is this decision I must adhere to, no matter the price.

Where does it lead?  To Sevvy??? =DDD

Lecture notes, they really do mess you up. =P

Anyhow, I really would ( I swear upon Severus name and everything Snapey) write about my new life here, how beautiful everything is, how rainy and dreary and gloomy it'd become, how freezing cold my perfectly-formed gluteus maximus is; but it all has to wait for now. Time isn't really a friend right now, and *sighs*. God knows how much I want to just sit down and write, and read, and sleep the day away.

Wish me luck; for I do wish you the best. May you find courage in life, bit by bit, the way I'm trying to. =)

For we all need the courage to take that one first step. =) p.s. I do have a pair of nice shoes, don't I?