Life ain't fair, but there's always a way through it

i went to Liu Yong's (刘墉）talk yesterday and it was simply fantastic. it gave me a lotta to think about. he talked about life, mainly, but there were a lotta things that he said that made me think.


Among those things, it was the thing about life being unfair that caught my attention. he said, there's a lotta unfairness in this life, so many that many may be lost in it. (pretty much what I said, only in a more polite way...) But, the most important thing is that we shouldn't let those unfair things that happened to us happen to others. we musn't treat others unfairly when we are in the position to do so, be it consciously or not.


we musn't lose ourselves in all these prejudices of the world. let them pass, let them go, but learn from them. we musn't cling onto that tiny thread of unjust and blame the world for the unreasonable things that happen; instead, we should learn from them and improve ourselves. we shouldn't look at only the unfair, what about the times when things were at your side? did you complain? did you say "Oh, it's just fair, coz..."


it got me thinking about all the times i would blame others for the unreasonable things that happened to me. for example, being pulled into a competition that i don't want. i may complain it's wasting my time, but, in the future, that piece of knowledge, however little, may come in handy. take my social life for instant. i used to be that geek who's considered too proud or brainy to be with. I may balme them for not knowing me before making a conclusion, i may write bad things (understatement of the year) about them in my blog, but have i ever thought about what I'd done to give them that impression? knowing that, i took the effort to improve my image, and now, i am happy to say that thigs are gradually improving for my social life. ( even thought sometimes, they're still a pain in the ass)


He said a lotta things, and i know you guys aren't interested, coz i'd said it in such a boring and tiny way, so, i'm not gonna bore you any further. hmph. just to let you know. coz it really changed my way of thinking, even a little. (even though i dunno how long it's gonna last...)

C'est la vie...

I can't possibly say more about my life. it's a total mess, an irritating mess and also, the most wonderful thing.

What?! don't look so, well, apprehensive. it's true!

well, take this for example. just yesterday, i've had a shit day, the shittiest one. i mean, i've just finished my exams, and -- of course -- i started to read & watch movies. but upon getting my results the next day -- yeah, all of them in one go -- i've had my ears nagged off about how you should not lose your momentum in studyiing and you should start studying and stuff like that. youknow, that totally blew my head off. so i locked myself off in my room and had my room booming with all the drums and electronic guitars, a.k.a Avril Lavigne. she's really like a good cure for you pent-up anger. that continued until eleven at night.

today, on the other hand, was a hectic, fun and stressful day. you see, it's 11-11-09 today, and tomorrow, 12-11-09, is going to be the competition of our science show!!! ( and also the premiers of 2012) so, me and my two friends spent the whole day (a.k.a. from 7.30a.m.8.30p.m) working on the project and i fee like slamming myself into my sweet warm bed right now. but it's also fun. you see, we were working magic. and of course, they were kinda nice friends to be around with, you know, comfortable, funny, and we keep on 'jinx'ing one another. it's really fun. of course, some of it had to do with me getting the third of the class. not that it;'s up to my standards (like someone claimed) but it's just that my position rose from the fifth/sixth to the third just because of my english marks. kinda a surprise, though my english marks are a lil, ahem, you know...

so, you know, i gotta take a rest from all my 'message in a bottle' stuff, and keep my head in the science project. so, after tomorrow, it's truly liberation, tho it's a lil sad the science thingy has to end. not that i'm complaining. i mean, the science lab is creepy. and since it's the chemistry lab, it's kinda deirty, and you have to make sure you don't accidentally taste sth toxic, or touch sth corrosive.

so, we'll meet for new moon!!!!! all for one, and all for one. just the one and only new moon.

Liberation!

my god. after three weeks of constant suffering, torturing, and endless tormen, i'm FREE!!!

well, may be it isn tat bad, but hey, exams are always that bad to us teenagers!!!!

so, i'm just gonna start plannin my hols. no idea what i'm gonna do, but it's gotta involve books, movies and music. lots and lots and lots of em.

so, how's new moon goin on?! i neeeeeedddd a reply! ASAP!!!!

2012

there's been a lot of bitches in my life recently. i can't really say "butt out of my life" to them, so i'm saying them here. this is MY life, so just BUTT OUT.

anyway, this is not the reason i'm writing (since that i'm doin this rarely). i'm talkin about the movie 2012. 2012 may be the end of thw world for us. what are we going to do? i'll only be 19...

no matter we're fat or thin , ugly, beautiful, rich poor, smart or stupid, we are all going to die on the same day, so i just wanna say, look at all those who are around you, try to love them--i know it's real hard. on second thought, just forget the bitches. but there's one thing in the world that you should really appreciate before they are gone, washed away by the end, and that's friends and family. try to understand them, try to love them, see things from their point of view, look at them like that is the last time. ask yourself, what if that are the last words i said to them? can you let them die with those words in their hearts?

i know, i'm being dramatic, but just tell yourself this--

you'll never know how much time you have left.

secret love

you're standing in the crowd

surrounded by all those girls

who think they're all that

and they're screaming your name

i stand right here

looking at my baggy jeans

and think

hey, you might never ever notice me

i spent the morning in front of your picture

thinking, maybe you belong with me

but you don even know i exist

so this might all be just a

CHORUS

Dream

just a secret love

and i'm so stupid to actually believe

that your place is right next to me

and all the fame

and all the stilleto heels

and now i know

it will all be just a secret love

fans

all around the world

think

that you deserve better

and i

never thought that my little secret dream

would be known to the world

but you were cool

you told me i'm nice

and i couldn't help but to spill it all out

and you put your hand to my face

and told me that

this was also your

CHORUS

Dream

just a secret love
and you never actually believe
that your place is right next to me
and all the books
and all the baggy jeans
and now i know
it's not just a secret love

anymore

this is my first attempt at a song's lyrics. what do you guys think about it? it's about... well, look through it and tell me what it's about..

p.s the pictures are for paragraphing sake, coz sth happened and i can't paragraph. absolutely nth to do with the lyrics. or me. or zac. or whatever you guys might think.

15 Malaysia

fifteen Malaysia, a must watch. fifteen short stories about Malaysia, and all the colour problems surfaces... We are One Malaysia, We share one dream; don't let the old thinking rule out our instincts--to be a united nation. we share the same skin colour actually, if you really compare...

Yasmin Ahmad did a great job with Chocolate... it's a must see...and remember to read the comments, epecially the one which someone named "wei ling" if you don't understand...more later...i'm kinda busy....

Ps http://15malaysia.com/

three thousand years

yellow, orange, green, pink and blue

brilliant hues of colours

streak across the sky
forests, mountains and gushes of rivers and streams

paled

in comparison

but

the mountain of sorrow

of guilt

pain

and misunderstanding

will stay right here

next to me

inside me

forever

the nightsky

shedding tears of moonlight

stars

blinking unspeakable grief

remembering

our story

milleniums ago----

you stood here

amidst the flowers

and i

by your side

nothing felt so perfect

until the arrow

and the ringing clash of

sword against sword

shining

as the tears of moonlight

you lay on the bed

of red grass

promising me

with a smile

"I'll wait for you."

and now,

i'm waiting

beneath the same moonlight

on the bed of grass

no longer stained by your soul

my tears

our memories

all that remains

is the story

three million years ago

and i'm

still

waiting...

Smile, even though you heart is aching...

This year haven been exactly a perfect year. on second thought, when was a year perfect? but this year, millions of people, all around the world raised their voices as one, and sang in loving memory for the late king of pop. Among these millions and billions of people, stood me. i know i'm not really a fan of his, nor am i very particular about his actions, but like everybody else, i am affected by the grief, the sadness and the hurt when death is around.

"I just want to say ever since I was born, daddy has been the best father you can ever imagine, and I just wanted to say I love him so much,"
i don't blame the Jacksons for letting Paris express grief, and so heartbreakingly. it was only natural that a daughter might want to express her feelings for a father who had gone too soon. given the choice, would u have wanted the choice? would you rather miss out on saying the last words in front of your dad for the last time? no matter how sudden, how tragic, or even how expected the death of a loved one is, it always hurt. it'll always stab you in the heart and leave a huge bleeding hole, constantly sending pricks and pins into your throat, and that hole, the huge gaping hole, would have to wait until time heals it, but never completely. would you rather have a child swallow all her grief and bear it quietly, waiting for time to heal an eternity of sadness and loss? maybe you don't know this, but it always help when there is someone to listen. it always help when you can let your emotion out, and there is no better way to heal a broken soul.

In the memorial service of Michael, a lotta great things were said about him. his life were accounted again in a way that there was no way to doubt this King's ability, his ability to bring the whole world--breaking race, colours, religion barriers--together, creating a new world where all are one, and one is all. In his songs, we are all equals, and together "We are the world". "there is nothing we can't do if we raise our voices as one." "They say the sky is the limit, and for me, that is true." and now finally, our beloved King of Pop had found his neverland.

"I am here now, and i am here forever."
we all came to know and love MJ, and when he danced and sang, he brought joy into our lifes. and whilst we're celebrating his life, we must all remember, that he is never really gone, because when we remember him, he'll live to eternity. This isn't just a memorial, nor is it just a tribute. This is a moment of remembrance, a moment of love, and a moment of eternity.

"Somehow, when Michael Jackson sang and dances, you never felt distant. you felt that, you believed in him, and he believed in you."
"He enchanted us with his passion and compassion, and when he sang our songs ... and dance on the moon... but when he left, he left us feeling achingly alone. Piercingly, alone."
"We had him. Beautiful, delighting our eyes... . He gave us all he had been given... . We are missing Michael Jackson. But we do know, we had him - and we are the world."

Fighting back tears, Brooke Shields recounts how she and Michael - who were oft labeled an "odd couple" when photographed out together as kids - enjoyed "the most natural and easiest of friendships." Having grown up in the spotlight, she says, "[We] needed to be adults very early. But when we were together, we were two little kids having fun." her speech offers an illuminating glimpse inside the lives of two rising stars who helped each other embrace their inner child and all their fun and weird times, and Jackson's eccentric fashion sense. "If you're going to hold my hand it had better be the non-gloved one because sequins really hurt me," she says.
"All our hearts are aching, but we need to look up there, and know that he is perched somewhere below the crescent moon, and smile."

"Sure, there were some sad times and questionable decisions on his part, but Michael Jackson accomplished everything he dreamed of"
"I think simply he is the greatest entertainer that ever lived,"

"Never Dreamed You'd Leave in Summer--"I never dreamed you'd leave in summer,I thought you would go then come back home,I thought the cold would leave by summer,But my quiet nights will be spent alone. Michael, why didn't you stay?"

"In our darkest hour, in my deepest despair, will you still care? Will you be there?In my trials, and my tribulations, through our doubts, and frustrations, In my violence, in my turbulence, through my fear, and my confessionsIn my anguish and my pain, through my joy and my sorrow, in the promise of another tomorrowI'll never let you part, for you're always in my heart"

we remember the King of Pop, and we know we are the world.

My PMR results

OMG. i just came back from school, getting my PMR results! guess what? i got FULL A's!!! i am so darn happy. you know, i couldn't sleep yesterday night. i spent the whole night reading Romeo and Juliet. and Othello. and Hamlet. i wonder why shakespeare likes tragic story so very much. but i must admit that Romeo is a total idiot. not that i won do that if i were him. i would, but, you know, reading that makes me feel so.....ARGH. anyway, i got full A's and that's all matters now. hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so DARN HAPPY.

p.s. good luck to all SPMers and nxt year PMRers.
p.p.s. HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

christmas is OVER... oh man...

OMG. Christmas is over and the school is reopening...man, and the results are coming out Tuesday!!!! man, what am i gonna do?

anyway, i just wanna say that this has been one of the nicest holidays i had in my life. there may be better to come, but, hey, let hold on to what we have now. so, it's gonna be school and school and school starting the next few weeks, and i don't think i'm gonna have the time to, you know, write about my everything here. so, heads up, guys!

this christmas was by far the loneliest i ever had. all of my friends i can't see, due to the weird controlling habits and rules i have, and well, others that i can actually see and talk to(my neighbours, duh) are far far away in watever land. so, a lonely and mundane christmas... anyway, i've made a few --i guess you can say--close acquaintance, and some others who share my enthusiasm in Twilight. so, it was a nice christmas, even though spent online. i mean, they're still friends, aren't they? so, i guess that's all, guys, and good luck in the new semester, wherever you are going to be...

p.s. private to ong xie and tiffany, cmon la... if Pn Fam is reading this, you guys are dead already. i'm not saying that i'm not, but still. the essays! you un even know there ARE essays, do you tiffany? anyway, the titles are (as far as i remember) -- 1. start with " 'how could you do this to me? i would never forgive you. Never!' " 2. ( i forgot) 3. ( forgetten too; hey. i ony remember those i've wrote. or written halfway.) 4. start with " 'you are not going to that party, young lady, and that's final' " (or something like that.) 5. end with "that was the first time she smiled at me." and just curious, guys, but how many essays have you guys missed?