Yup. Memoire du passe. Memory of the past. with a few more days, the very much eventful year 2010 will be yet another chapter in the book of the past, and a new page will fill itself, as is the norm of life. very much, and yet, painfully less can be said about this year, as points of view changes with time and sometimes it is fated that we view more and maybe less of what we may have needed to view at times.
I'd have to start with the things that mattered the most. fine, you guessed it. SPM (shudders). to people, it may serve as the only purpose throughout this whole year (shudders again). i don't know why, but it seems that this seemingly innocent event can be the cause of so many tragedies in our lives. SPM is the nightmare of all nightmares, the war of all wars, the wound of all wounds, the... well, you get the picture. But out of this--event, not only were many secrets revealed, but friendships re-speculated, intentions re-pondered. under extraordinary duress, many people resort to primitive ways of de-stressing, thus leading to uncomely conduct of behaviour. and due to this, foul epidemic that spreads like wildflowers, many friendships were destroyed, trusts broken, promises ruined. memories that were yet to be created just vanished, as if they'd never meant to be created at all. thus is the ways of humanity, the ugliness of humanity that descends upon us humans under stress, an appalling image that haunts us not only in nightmares, but in the living as well.
OMG. I'd just read back on what i wrote and i sound...i can't really find the word. *shakes head to dispel whatever stray thoughts.* i think I've been reading too many fanfic...*shakes head again*
back to the topic. so I'm just saying that I've witnessed and experienced this unsightly epidemic at the climax of its ramifications, first hand. i myself had been both the victim, and also--sad to admit--the culprit. it's hard to control yourself, harder even to know that you've lost control. you might lash out at a person and then regret it later, although there's no way you could take back those despicable words later. and that regret... i wouldn't wish it upon anyone, not even Voldemort. And i realised, SPM was only the beginning of the beginning. SPM is just the first stop of whatever that causes such appalling display of humanity, or, the worst of it. we lash out, then we lash out, and then we lash out. is this life then? Lashing out and then regretting it? can't really imagine.
but through all of this, there's still hope for us, as it might appear. there are people who understands, who tolerates, and who forgives. these are the ones who truly, is a friend. they listen to your troubles, understand you without words, and where words and advices fail, they offer compassion, companionship to what we are going through. and in my case, I'm incredibly lucky to find, not only one, but a handful of these kinda friends. true, they might not be there ALL the time, but still, they are there. these are the people who created laughter and joy throughout this year, with me, at me, by me. and because of them, we never had a stifling (well, never is a strong word, but you get the idea) moment, and we made it through this year with lots and lots more memories to share and to cherish. (with teachers (pn wee!!) too... as weird as that may sound)
and the greatest victory for me this year? my greatest enemy since Primary 1 (greatest is a strong word, but yeah...yada yada...you get the idea) turned out to be one of my bestest friend ever. we communicate without words (and with too many words that sometimes irritate our classmates) and could understand each other perfectly well, as our thoughts are eeriely, tuned together (we think of the same things and the same times, always. JINX!) . as she always said : soulmates, eh? So, right here right now, i grant myself, and her, a little leeway, and give us a chance in her strange way of choosing a soulmate (same sex? not strange? well. *shrugs*) so soulmates, till....(dare i say it?) ... forever.
so with this, i end the summary of this year, in this incredibly, infinitely deserted 'diary' of mine. a memory, kept, till the end of time.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
I do
Whew. One more paper left. And i'm left to boredom and bliss. anyhow, i had the first taste of utter bliss yesterday, and i really hope that's how our friendship's gonna last for the rest of my life.
Chinese literature had me sleeping at twelve thirty and out of bed by five, furiously, desperately cramming seemingly endless information into a very reluctant brain. then a drizzle, a bout of rain, and then, naturally, a storm. as if i wasn't shivering enough from the absolute fright and panic. then, after two and a half hours of constant shivering(cold and fright), endless door banging(furious winds), mild cursing(if you call that mild, that is) and a severe bout of hand-wrist malfunction, i was finally walking out of the halls, pencils and pens in hand, finally free of the clutches of my deepest fear--the Chinese literature exam.
as i walk out of the halls, i suddenly had an insight of how the leading role in the romance films always felt-- the strolling-down-the-streets-while-the-wind-blows-your-hair-back-with-the-accompaniment-of-a-string-quintet-playing-out-a-wonderful-tune. well, the blowing hair part was literal, anyway, cause the wind was really driving my hair into clumps of unidentified mess.
then, as i made my way to the front door, a catcall from my side, and there they were, standing there as if they just belonged at my side, waiting for a day of laughter and joy at my place. a ride home, and we were slumped on the couch, lazily watching our eyes off with incredibly romantic films like The Proposal, Letters to Juliet, Pride and Prejudice, Confessions of a Shopaholic, and then The Last Airbender, and The Sorcerer's Apprentice, all the while exchanging sarcastic, interesting comments about the awkwardness, cheesiness, romance of the movies, and the hot guys, cute guys and incredible guys, being chewed out with questions about how the movies gonna end(i'm the one being chewed out, sadly.) and suddenly running out of the house to take a look at those cute little dogs that lived nearby.
then we had funny, "inspiring" conversations about almost everything while having pizza, while one of us uncannily revealed the past(or the present) about her love story while we twisted it around to make another story worth of a movie. we gorged ourselves on potato crisps, an assortment of "junk" food, and 'ooh's and 'aah's as results of the incredible movies. it wasn't until almost half and hour to twelve that we finally reluctantly decided that we couldn't delay the inevitable goodbyes. and so good byes ensued and the night witness the passing of another day.
later that night, in bed, i couldn't help but reflect back on the day, a small smile on my face, and i wondered. Would this last forever? I know, forever is an awfully long long time, but still. would we still be like this, laughing away even after school? would we still stay in touch after going in separate directions, chasing different dreams and working our asses off in various parts of the world? Would we still stay in touch, by post or by mail, by long distance phone calls, or impromptu coffee dates? Would we still laugh together without any care in the world like we did today, gossip viciously as we did today, snuggle down in the sofa and just savouring the presence of each other, just like we did today? would we be like Samantha and the girls in Sex and the City, to just share the joys and fears of growing up, of growing old, of responsibilities, of the engagement rings, the weddings, the kids and all of that, to just be there for each other, no matter what?Would we, after sixty years, sit our seventy-seven-year-old bodies at the front porch and reflect back on the day we first met, almost seventy years ago?
So many questions, and no answers. So simple dreams yet so many possibilities. I hate mysteries, but that's what life is, a big complicated mesh of mysteries. I hate being kept in the dark, but that's what the future is, dark and folded. i ask these questions, and wish--for i can only wish--that these answers are what i will enjoy. I ask these questions, and hope--for there's only hope--that someday, in my twilight years, i will look back and never regret my life. Cause i truly, deeply, madly, fervently wish, hope and want this special bond of ours to last till forever.
So here, i pose this question--do you, my friends, take this emotionally-unstable, sometimes weird, mostly big headed girl as a friend, and be hers, in health and sickness alike, till death do us part?
my answer to you?
I do.
Chinese literature had me sleeping at twelve thirty and out of bed by five, furiously, desperately cramming seemingly endless information into a very reluctant brain. then a drizzle, a bout of rain, and then, naturally, a storm. as if i wasn't shivering enough from the absolute fright and panic. then, after two and a half hours of constant shivering(cold and fright), endless door banging(furious winds), mild cursing(if you call that mild, that is) and a severe bout of hand-wrist malfunction, i was finally walking out of the halls, pencils and pens in hand, finally free of the clutches of my deepest fear--the Chinese literature exam.
as i walk out of the halls, i suddenly had an insight of how the leading role in the romance films always felt-- the strolling-down-the-streets-while-the-wind-blows-your-hair-back-with-the-accompaniment-of-a-string-quintet-playing-out-a-wonderful-tune. well, the blowing hair part was literal, anyway, cause the wind was really driving my hair into clumps of unidentified mess.
then, as i made my way to the front door, a catcall from my side, and there they were, standing there as if they just belonged at my side, waiting for a day of laughter and joy at my place. a ride home, and we were slumped on the couch, lazily watching our eyes off with incredibly romantic films like The Proposal, Letters to Juliet, Pride and Prejudice, Confessions of a Shopaholic, and then The Last Airbender, and The Sorcerer's Apprentice, all the while exchanging sarcastic, interesting comments about the awkwardness, cheesiness, romance of the movies, and the hot guys, cute guys and incredible guys, being chewed out with questions about how the movies gonna end(i'm the one being chewed out, sadly.) and suddenly running out of the house to take a look at those cute little dogs that lived nearby.
then we had funny, "inspiring" conversations about almost everything while having pizza, while one of us uncannily revealed the past(or the present) about her love story while we twisted it around to make another story worth of a movie. we gorged ourselves on potato crisps, an assortment of "junk" food, and 'ooh's and 'aah's as results of the incredible movies. it wasn't until almost half and hour to twelve that we finally reluctantly decided that we couldn't delay the inevitable goodbyes. and so good byes ensued and the night witness the passing of another day.
later that night, in bed, i couldn't help but reflect back on the day, a small smile on my face, and i wondered. Would this last forever? I know, forever is an awfully long long time, but still. would we still be like this, laughing away even after school? would we still stay in touch after going in separate directions, chasing different dreams and working our asses off in various parts of the world? Would we still stay in touch, by post or by mail, by long distance phone calls, or impromptu coffee dates? Would we still laugh together without any care in the world like we did today, gossip viciously as we did today, snuggle down in the sofa and just savouring the presence of each other, just like we did today? would we be like Samantha and the girls in Sex and the City, to just share the joys and fears of growing up, of growing old, of responsibilities, of the engagement rings, the weddings, the kids and all of that, to just be there for each other, no matter what?Would we, after sixty years, sit our seventy-seven-year-old bodies at the front porch and reflect back on the day we first met, almost seventy years ago?
So many questions, and no answers. So simple dreams yet so many possibilities. I hate mysteries, but that's what life is, a big complicated mesh of mysteries. I hate being kept in the dark, but that's what the future is, dark and folded. i ask these questions, and wish--for i can only wish--that these answers are what i will enjoy. I ask these questions, and hope--for there's only hope--that someday, in my twilight years, i will look back and never regret my life. Cause i truly, deeply, madly, fervently wish, hope and want this special bond of ours to last till forever.
So here, i pose this question--do you, my friends, take this emotionally-unstable, sometimes weird, mostly big headed girl as a friend, and be hers, in health and sickness alike, till death do us part?
my answer to you?
I do.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Pride and Prejudice
Pride, a high sense of one's personal status, leading to judgements of personality or character.
Prejudice, an assumption made without knowing or understanding a person just by looking at their looks, their words, or their clothing.
These two things, combined or not, are dangerous things. It can ruin a person's life at the wrong time at the wrong place. Especially prejudice. When you don't know a person, but deem yourself a fair judge of character, disaster strikes. it is not always the cover that represents the book. yes, somtimes, you read further, maybe even the first chapter, but will it be enough to understand how well the author knows his/her stuff, or how well the person can deliver their ideas, or even how beautiful his/her language is?
the same goes for us pitiful humans. these feelings, judgements, if you would, can cause a person's reputation to nosedive in a spiral, and along with it, ruin his life. many people pride themselves over their so-called ability to judge a person by just looking at a few aspects, maybe their clothing, their words, their actions. but a person is flawed, and that is what makes us human. we make mistakes, we make the wrong decisions. sometimes, we do the wrong things at the wrong time with the wrong actions and words and somehow, we don't realise we're wrong.
or maybe we're just not wrong.
sometimes, it's all a matter of perspective. sometimes you look at it from the right side, sometimes the left. but how in Merlin's name can you be so sure that the other person is looking from the same side as you? how can you be so sure? it is simply not our place to judge a persom by these things. we may mean something, but words are flexible. you can twist it all around and voila, it means something completely different! prejudice simply means that. you look at the person at the wrong place at the wrong time, saying things you have a completely different perspective on, you make a conclusion.
now how does that sound?
this world was never fair---a two-year-old can tell you that. it's not fair that we have to judge people in an instinct for self-preservation. it's not fair that we don't have the opportunity to know everyone on earth so that we can truly know that person's character. But it's the worst when you CHOOSE to judge people for no reason at all apart from the pleasure, or if you would, the sense of superiority. Humans are like that. they all have a green-eyed monster on their backs. they would rather be better than one person rather than be below them. they'd jump at the chance of wiping soot on one's reputation if it means that'll make themselves better. that's human nature. and it's not fair either, when that person, innocent or not, falls prey to these sick twisted games they play.
so stop judging me. i don't care if you're just 17, or 27, i am a person. i am flawed. i am still learning. i can't be perfect. this is me, and this is who i am. i will not say i'm never wrong, sometimes i am. but i would appreciate it of you would just try to look at it in my shoes.
i am not superman, and even if i try my best, i won't be one. i am not the perfect student, and i will never will be. i have flaws~~ i can't study everyday, and i simply cannot sit still and study. and i am not god, nor will i claim to be. i sometimes do wrong things, as humans often do, and sometimes i hurt people without realising.
i'm tired. i'm tired of having to be so cautious, of having to live up to others' expectations. sometimes, i just want to throw it all behind and just be myself. no worries, no watch-before-you-jumps, no chains of obligations, no more constant vigilance. But these are the very things i cannot free myself of, nor can anyone on earth. these are the things that, sadly, makes us more human than ever. we don't have a choice, if we don't want a sad pathetic ending. i know all these. i know life is hard, and there's many things we don't like that we have to face. So, i will endeavour to survive, i would try. but seriously, i can do without these sick assumptions people make.
and right here right now, i'm taking a stand. i'm taking a stand against those who wishes me dead. i'm taking a stand against those who try to ruin me. i have done no wrongs, nor have i conmmited any crimes. I will take my stand, tall and unwavering. I will not apologize, nor would i stand idly aside and watch as i burn under your relentless assumptions. I will not seek revenge either, not in the way you have destroyed me. i will take my stand and wait, waiting for the horrible end you deserve which will be handed out by the justice i know. I will take my stand, in death or sickness alike, and i will take it strong and tall.
you will not have the satisfaction of seeing fear in my eyes, nor would anger appear, for there's only pity i feel for your pathetic soul.
assumptions is a rather gentle word, don't you think so? too soft, too gentle compared to the disaster they wrought. well, i cannot think of a better way to conclude, so i'll just sign off with a simple but true : c'est la vie.
Prejudice, an assumption made without knowing or understanding a person just by looking at their looks, their words, or their clothing.
These two things, combined or not, are dangerous things. It can ruin a person's life at the wrong time at the wrong place. Especially prejudice. When you don't know a person, but deem yourself a fair judge of character, disaster strikes. it is not always the cover that represents the book. yes, somtimes, you read further, maybe even the first chapter, but will it be enough to understand how well the author knows his/her stuff, or how well the person can deliver their ideas, or even how beautiful his/her language is?
the same goes for us pitiful humans. these feelings, judgements, if you would, can cause a person's reputation to nosedive in a spiral, and along with it, ruin his life. many people pride themselves over their so-called ability to judge a person by just looking at a few aspects, maybe their clothing, their words, their actions. but a person is flawed, and that is what makes us human. we make mistakes, we make the wrong decisions. sometimes, we do the wrong things at the wrong time with the wrong actions and words and somehow, we don't realise we're wrong.
or maybe we're just not wrong.
sometimes, it's all a matter of perspective. sometimes you look at it from the right side, sometimes the left. but how in Merlin's name can you be so sure that the other person is looking from the same side as you? how can you be so sure? it is simply not our place to judge a persom by these things. we may mean something, but words are flexible. you can twist it all around and voila, it means something completely different! prejudice simply means that. you look at the person at the wrong place at the wrong time, saying things you have a completely different perspective on, you make a conclusion.
now how does that sound?
this world was never fair---a two-year-old can tell you that. it's not fair that we have to judge people in an instinct for self-preservation. it's not fair that we don't have the opportunity to know everyone on earth so that we can truly know that person's character. But it's the worst when you CHOOSE to judge people for no reason at all apart from the pleasure, or if you would, the sense of superiority. Humans are like that. they all have a green-eyed monster on their backs. they would rather be better than one person rather than be below them. they'd jump at the chance of wiping soot on one's reputation if it means that'll make themselves better. that's human nature. and it's not fair either, when that person, innocent or not, falls prey to these sick twisted games they play.
so stop judging me. i don't care if you're just 17, or 27, i am a person. i am flawed. i am still learning. i can't be perfect. this is me, and this is who i am. i will not say i'm never wrong, sometimes i am. but i would appreciate it of you would just try to look at it in my shoes.
i am not superman, and even if i try my best, i won't be one. i am not the perfect student, and i will never will be. i have flaws~~ i can't study everyday, and i simply cannot sit still and study. and i am not god, nor will i claim to be. i sometimes do wrong things, as humans often do, and sometimes i hurt people without realising.
i'm tired. i'm tired of having to be so cautious, of having to live up to others' expectations. sometimes, i just want to throw it all behind and just be myself. no worries, no watch-before-you-jumps, no chains of obligations, no more constant vigilance. But these are the very things i cannot free myself of, nor can anyone on earth. these are the things that, sadly, makes us more human than ever. we don't have a choice, if we don't want a sad pathetic ending. i know all these. i know life is hard, and there's many things we don't like that we have to face. So, i will endeavour to survive, i would try. but seriously, i can do without these sick assumptions people make.
and right here right now, i'm taking a stand. i'm taking a stand against those who wishes me dead. i'm taking a stand against those who try to ruin me. i have done no wrongs, nor have i conmmited any crimes. I will take my stand, tall and unwavering. I will not apologize, nor would i stand idly aside and watch as i burn under your relentless assumptions. I will not seek revenge either, not in the way you have destroyed me. i will take my stand and wait, waiting for the horrible end you deserve which will be handed out by the justice i know. I will take my stand, in death or sickness alike, and i will take it strong and tall.
you will not have the satisfaction of seeing fear in my eyes, nor would anger appear, for there's only pity i feel for your pathetic soul.
assumptions is a rather gentle word, don't you think so? too soft, too gentle compared to the disaster they wrought. well, i cannot think of a better way to conclude, so i'll just sign off with a simple but true : c'est la vie.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
FIFA world cup
i can hardly believe it...i'm suddenly in the football fever...i know, it's weird, but whatever.
my internet wil be cut off for a few weeks, i know, disappointing. but, when i'm finally back online, i will gladly post all the photos of all the hunks in the game.
and of SPAIN!!!! th 2010 FIFA WC winner!!!! i'm so proud of them!!! i love the team, or should i say, the guys in the team? i have to admit, i love Iker Casillas!!!! he is the ultimate goalkeeper of spain who saved soooo many goals, winning himself the golden glove award!!!! and he's the captain too!!!!
it's such a joy seeing them holdin the cup after almost 60 years later. but it also reminds me, SPM is drawing near and i'lll have to wait for another freakig FOUR years before i can see em again in action!!! shame...
till next time! i promise i'll write more!!!
my internet wil be cut off for a few weeks, i know, disappointing. but, when i'm finally back online, i will gladly post all the photos of all the hunks in the game.
and of SPAIN!!!! th 2010 FIFA WC winner!!!! i'm so proud of them!!! i love the team, or should i say, the guys in the team? i have to admit, i love Iker Casillas!!!! he is the ultimate goalkeeper of spain who saved soooo many goals, winning himself the golden glove award!!!! and he's the captain too!!!!
it's such a joy seeing them holdin the cup after almost 60 years later. but it also reminds me, SPM is drawing near and i'lll have to wait for another freakig FOUR years before i can see em again in action!!! shame...
till next time! i promise i'll write more!!!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Eclipse--screw or score?
eclipse--the time where the sun or the moon is covered from view. normally viewed as a sign of misfortune, or a time of incredible catastrophe, it is considered one of the rarest yet, most wanted to be seen phenomenon on earth.
as is the thrid book--eclipse, of the twilight saga.
the eclipse book is considered by many, the best book in the whole saga, some even think it's better than breaking dawn and twilight. it is, as proven, the book that shields the others from view. the one that eclipses the rest. for me, well, let's say, i'm more into breaking dawn, even the husband and wife thingy freaks me out a lil... eclipse has it all--romance, suspense, action, thrills, just name it. so, i sincerely hope the crew won't screw it all up. here's the trailer ( official) and tell me wat you guys think! screw? or score?
isabella swan, i promise i'll love you , forever
as is the thrid book--eclipse, of the twilight saga.
the eclipse book is considered by many, the best book in the whole saga, some even think it's better than breaking dawn and twilight. it is, as proven, the book that shields the others from view. the one that eclipses the rest. for me, well, let's say, i'm more into breaking dawn, even the husband and wife thingy freaks me out a lil... eclipse has it all--romance, suspense, action, thrills, just name it. so, i sincerely hope the crew won't screw it all up. here's the trailer ( official) and tell me wat you guys think! screw? or score?
isabella swan, i promise i'll love you , forever
Sunday, June 6, 2010
17, Again
6th of june, and there fore, 17, again. i know. i've never been seventeen before, but then again, maybe i have.
fuh.. it's been a hard year, what with SPM looming and all the temptations. i have to admit it's been more than once that the thought of just giving it all up crossed my mind. i mean, there are those times when all you can see are the hard oppressing things that push down on you, pushing and pushing you until you have no choice but to jump off the cliff. i admit, there are many times that i've hoped, as bad as i am, that something will happen and stop all this mess.
but, as we--me, family, friends--look back at all those things we once did together, maybe it wasn't that bad. take for example, yesterday's farewell. it was amazing. i couldn't thank the guys who organised it enough. it may seem simple or whatever, but we had great fun, no, immense fun. they took such effort to convince me to go, and to think that i'd almost missed out on this memory...
it will be a memory that'll i'll cherish. it'll be something that will pull my attention away from all those things that seem to make life so hard. it'll be one of those things you can look back to, and think, life's so beautiful. it'll be one of those things that'll live on forever, ever and ever.
i may seem to be exaggerating, but doesn't everything else in life? that's what makes it... life.
my sunway trip will follow below:
i reached school at about 6.30, one of the earliest there. it had been raining the day before, and i have to admit--i din really looked forward to it. i mean, it's a trip, and i'd been on thousands of trips. how would it be different from all of the others?
how wrong was i.
we reached sunway at around 9, 10 o'clock. after buying tickets and slabbing a ton of sunblock, we went in and divided into our personal little groups, me, wen yun, wei xin and her sister, and yee ming. we went for the amusement rides first, bumping into all the little ones--meaning the form threes and a couple o form ones. it was quite a warm up. i would go to the details, but as usual, too lazy to write. type.
anyway, after going on all the rides, including the pirate ship that went 360 degrees and leave us there, blood rushing to our heads withe the form threes, the roller coaster that dein really have all the stunts like the others but made our heart lurch all the same, and a ton more, we went on the longest suspension bridge in idk where to reach the water park.
they weren't bluffing when they say longest.
anyway, at the water park, we went first, totally dry, to the rides section, the ones with the long long slides, which, btw, made our butt wet. it wasn't terribly exciting, but it made me wet. then being total freaks, we went to the pool and right there, i taught my friends to swim. yes. to swim. went to sunway to learn to swim. ironic, isn't it? but it was fun, and satisfying. you know, there's this kind of weird feeling that you get when you've just made a total hydrophobic girl to learn to swim? even tho it's not really, real swimming? and there wasn't one. there was three.
anyway, after that, we went back to the amusement thingy for the water rides. now, that's what i call thrill rides. there was these big big slides where we came down in a big float and then there was these thing we got on that took us in a sort of river, not river. rapids. we met up with danielle, ruining and cheng siew then and together we went for a few rides, including niagara falls where you fall from a great heght in a ride, straigh into water like you see on tv. there weren't kiddng when they say you will get wet. we went from almost dry to dripping wet. daniell din follow, as she was, you know, that time of the month. but we went from several dry rides as well together, you know, like the buffalo coaster, the really dizzying shoes ride... and so much more...
then we visited the wildlife park after showering, and went for dinner. there were some pretty cool animals ike the wallaby and the cassowori... is that how it's spelt?? i dk...
we went for dinner then, having our fun smashing crabs and dumping things into the steamboat and stuffing ourselves full with all those foods. can't say i'm not satiated. course, that's when the real fun started. to you guys who are reading this, it may not sound like it, but you werent there. we took pictures, takin up weird poses and took pictures of our leaving friend--christine who's going back to brunei. all of those who's on duty on friday, took a sort-of family pic. then we started to do all sorts of crazy things like singing and doing funny faces.
going on the bus, we were even crazier. they wathced IP man 2, but being the movie freak, i wanted to get the real experience, so i skip it and join the gang in playing all sorts of game. we played rock, paper scissors which included slapping each others hands, sang funny songs using chipmunky voices, took photos of different ( and really weird--as in psycho) pics which includes using our ffeet, our hands, fingers and all those stuff. one turned out to be real weird, coz it looked like a part of the male's anatomy. it was real, sincere fun. i know understnad what a friends gathering is really like, and suddenly, i dun feel so left out. we were all the same, enjoying the same things, and feeling the same joy.
i reached home at bout ten, after having the whole bus singing a birthday song for me (which i can't believer they remembered!).. make that three birthday song. one malaysia. i was like, ohmigod. they're saying my name. almost drawn to tears right there and then. it was amazing.
and even tho my legs hurt like hell for walking from 9/10 o'clock to almost 5.30p.m, i feel contented. i feel that, another chapter had been written and sadly, ended in my life, but i could always turn back and look. and yes, i am in total bliss, for again, another year had passed, and i'm now, officially 17, with loads of memories to share, and loads of memories yet to be created.
fuh.. it's been a hard year, what with SPM looming and all the temptations. i have to admit it's been more than once that the thought of just giving it all up crossed my mind. i mean, there are those times when all you can see are the hard oppressing things that push down on you, pushing and pushing you until you have no choice but to jump off the cliff. i admit, there are many times that i've hoped, as bad as i am, that something will happen and stop all this mess.
but, as we--me, family, friends--look back at all those things we once did together, maybe it wasn't that bad. take for example, yesterday's farewell. it was amazing. i couldn't thank the guys who organised it enough. it may seem simple or whatever, but we had great fun, no, immense fun. they took such effort to convince me to go, and to think that i'd almost missed out on this memory...
it will be a memory that'll i'll cherish. it'll be something that will pull my attention away from all those things that seem to make life so hard. it'll be one of those things you can look back to, and think, life's so beautiful. it'll be one of those things that'll live on forever, ever and ever.
i may seem to be exaggerating, but doesn't everything else in life? that's what makes it... life.
my sunway trip will follow below:
i reached school at about 6.30, one of the earliest there. it had been raining the day before, and i have to admit--i din really looked forward to it. i mean, it's a trip, and i'd been on thousands of trips. how would it be different from all of the others?
how wrong was i.
we reached sunway at around 9, 10 o'clock. after buying tickets and slabbing a ton of sunblock, we went in and divided into our personal little groups, me, wen yun, wei xin and her sister, and yee ming. we went for the amusement rides first, bumping into all the little ones--meaning the form threes and a couple o form ones. it was quite a warm up. i would go to the details, but as usual, too lazy to write. type.
anyway, after going on all the rides, including the pirate ship that went 360 degrees and leave us there, blood rushing to our heads withe the form threes, the roller coaster that dein really have all the stunts like the others but made our heart lurch all the same, and a ton more, we went on the longest suspension bridge in idk where to reach the water park.
they weren't bluffing when they say longest.
anyway, at the water park, we went first, totally dry, to the rides section, the ones with the long long slides, which, btw, made our butt wet. it wasn't terribly exciting, but it made me wet. then being total freaks, we went to the pool and right there, i taught my friends to swim. yes. to swim. went to sunway to learn to swim. ironic, isn't it? but it was fun, and satisfying. you know, there's this kind of weird feeling that you get when you've just made a total hydrophobic girl to learn to swim? even tho it's not really, real swimming? and there wasn't one. there was three.
anyway, after that, we went back to the amusement thingy for the water rides. now, that's what i call thrill rides. there was these big big slides where we came down in a big float and then there was these thing we got on that took us in a sort of river, not river. rapids. we met up with danielle, ruining and cheng siew then and together we went for a few rides, including niagara falls where you fall from a great heght in a ride, straigh into water like you see on tv. there weren't kiddng when they say you will get wet. we went from almost dry to dripping wet. daniell din follow, as she was, you know, that time of the month. but we went from several dry rides as well together, you know, like the buffalo coaster, the really dizzying shoes ride... and so much more...
then we visited the wildlife park after showering, and went for dinner. there were some pretty cool animals ike the wallaby and the cassowori... is that how it's spelt?? i dk...
we went for dinner then, having our fun smashing crabs and dumping things into the steamboat and stuffing ourselves full with all those foods. can't say i'm not satiated. course, that's when the real fun started. to you guys who are reading this, it may not sound like it, but you werent there. we took pictures, takin up weird poses and took pictures of our leaving friend--christine who's going back to brunei. all of those who's on duty on friday, took a sort-of family pic. then we started to do all sorts of crazy things like singing and doing funny faces.
going on the bus, we were even crazier. they wathced IP man 2, but being the movie freak, i wanted to get the real experience, so i skip it and join the gang in playing all sorts of game. we played rock, paper scissors which included slapping each others hands, sang funny songs using chipmunky voices, took photos of different ( and really weird--as in psycho) pics which includes using our ffeet, our hands, fingers and all those stuff. one turned out to be real weird, coz it looked like a part of the male's anatomy. it was real, sincere fun. i know understnad what a friends gathering is really like, and suddenly, i dun feel so left out. we were all the same, enjoying the same things, and feeling the same joy.
i reached home at bout ten, after having the whole bus singing a birthday song for me (which i can't believer they remembered!).. make that three birthday song. one malaysia. i was like, ohmigod. they're saying my name. almost drawn to tears right there and then. it was amazing.
and even tho my legs hurt like hell for walking from 9/10 o'clock to almost 5.30p.m, i feel contented. i feel that, another chapter had been written and sadly, ended in my life, but i could always turn back and look. and yes, i am in total bliss, for again, another year had passed, and i'm now, officially 17, with loads of memories to share, and loads of memories yet to be created.
Friday, May 14, 2010
gimme a P, gimme a J, gimme a Hey, that's Great!
i just finished watching Percy jackson, and guess what? i think it's the best movie ever converted from a book.
i absolutely love the book. but the movie? whew, it's a whole new level of love! i mean, there's a lotta editing in the whole movie and everything isn't what it's supposed to be as it is in the book. but, i love the director, his ideas of changing the way the book portrays everyting. well, there's also the fact that the leading actor was cute. not to mention kinda sweet.
anyway, i dun wanna spoil the whole movie by giving you guys too much (which is actually an excuse for my laziness-- pretty obvious) , so i'm just gonna say what i loked most in the movie.
1. i simply love poseidon and the gods. poseidon looks so handsome. in the book he's like a tourist in hawaii, but in the movie... now, that's another brilliant story.
2. i didn't really liked the starting scene, but guess it gives the viewers a lil suspense.
3. I LOVE LOGAN LERMAN. which is actually, understatement of the year. just because he looks so cute. (i know. accept me as i am.)
4. i love Hermes' shoes.
5. i love the way the director gave percy powers. it made him look so ... heroic. he can just put his hand out, concentrate and have total control over waters. and make em into waves and stuff. i'm a sucker for heroes. i have a soft spot in my heart for em. but then again, who doesn't?
6. i didn't really liked the conversation btwn percy and his dad. i mean, it wasn't touching enough, but hey, the book didn't really go for the tears, you know? it was okay, but i'd hoped better.
7. there's actually no seven for percy. i just suddenly thought of LEGION, and absolutely love the angel Michael. he's like strong, and he knows what he wants and he isn't afraid to do anything--which includes defying god. there's this thing he said about god that i like--if you were His father, would you give him what he asked for, or what he needed. AAHHH!!! and when he dies and then reappear as an angel, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! and the way he's portrayed with his silhouette against the sunlight!!!!!! i know. he's an angel and stuff, but, hey, a girl can dream.
i absolutely love the book. but the movie? whew, it's a whole new level of love! i mean, there's a lotta editing in the whole movie and everything isn't what it's supposed to be as it is in the book. but, i love the director, his ideas of changing the way the book portrays everyting. well, there's also the fact that the leading actor was cute. not to mention kinda sweet.
anyway, i dun wanna spoil the whole movie by giving you guys too much (which is actually an excuse for my laziness-- pretty obvious) , so i'm just gonna say what i loked most in the movie.
1. i simply love poseidon and the gods. poseidon looks so handsome. in the book he's like a tourist in hawaii, but in the movie... now, that's another brilliant story.
2. i didn't really liked the starting scene, but guess it gives the viewers a lil suspense.
3. I LOVE LOGAN LERMAN. which is actually, understatement of the year. just because he looks so cute. (i know. accept me as i am.)
4. i love Hermes' shoes.
5. i love the way the director gave percy powers. it made him look so ... heroic. he can just put his hand out, concentrate and have total control over waters. and make em into waves and stuff. i'm a sucker for heroes. i have a soft spot in my heart for em. but then again, who doesn't?
6. i didn't really liked the conversation btwn percy and his dad. i mean, it wasn't touching enough, but hey, the book didn't really go for the tears, you know? it was okay, but i'd hoped better.
7. there's actually no seven for percy. i just suddenly thought of LEGION, and absolutely love the angel Michael. he's like strong, and he knows what he wants and he isn't afraid to do anything--which includes defying god. there's this thing he said about god that i like--if you were His father, would you give him what he asked for, or what he needed. AAHHH!!! and when he dies and then reappear as an angel, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! and the way he's portrayed with his silhouette against the sunlight!!!!!! i know. he's an angel and stuff, but, hey, a girl can dream.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
prom and romance
i guess alll of us can say that you simply cannot separate romance from prom. or prom from romance. or...whatever. you know what i mean. but, don't get the wrong idea. i decided not to go, simply becaause, tiff is goin to be working her butt off, and the others, well, just say i would be quite alone the whole night.
so, back to the main topic. when i decided not to goto my mum's school's prom, which, in fact, is also the first prom i know of ever held in malacca--i know, sad, ain't it?--i stayed at home and watched an incredibly irish and romantic romance film (now come on, if it wasn't romantic,, i wouldn't have called it a romance, would i?) it's called LEAP YEAR, starring a very sweet but annoyingly petty Amy Adams, and a very Irish, good looking guy who pronounced idiot as "ee-di-ought" , called Matthew Goode. it was incredibly sweet and romantic and in fact it made us (at least me) wonder whether we would make the wrong choice as the leading lady did. i mean, we all live under the illusions we make and sometimes, we wouldn't even know that it was, in fact, an illusion.
so, for the summary, i can tell you this simjple thing-- Anna (amy adams) was a successful lady who had this boyfriend, jeremy, who had been with her since like four years. so, when after four years, jeremy hadn't propose to her, she decided to take things into her own hands. you see, there was a tradition, Irish tradition that allowed girls to propose to guys on the 29th of february. so, she flew to ireland to join jeremy who was having a cardiology conference there to propose to him. however, things happen and she ended up in a small irish town--dingle, with absolutely no bus, taxi nor train. and of course, she met bar owner, Declan (matthew goode) and eventually they ended up on a journey together because declan needed the money. many things happen, including toasting the car, stepping into cow poo, and also, of course, a kiss. in the end, anna realized that she had everything she wanted, but nothing she needed. She wanted jeremy, but he wasn't what she needed. so, she flew 3000 miles back to ireland, and well, kinda proposed to declan, which ended with declan getting down on one knee and giving her the family ring.
i know this probably doesn't sound a romantic as i should be, but, i'm just saying, if you get the chance , go see it! it's a close-to-perfect replacement for a lost prom, but, well, worth it. i would really have been a stranger there. even though after looking at the pictures and regretting my absence, i still think i made the right choice. sounds complicated, eh? well, that's the very definition of a girl. at least the definition of me.
so, back to the main topic. when i decided not to goto my mum's school's prom, which, in fact, is also the first prom i know of ever held in malacca--i know, sad, ain't it?--i stayed at home and watched an incredibly irish and romantic romance film (now come on, if it wasn't romantic,, i wouldn't have called it a romance, would i?) it's called LEAP YEAR, starring a very sweet but annoyingly petty Amy Adams, and a very Irish, good looking guy who pronounced idiot as "ee-di-ought" , called Matthew Goode. it was incredibly sweet and romantic and in fact it made us (at least me) wonder whether we would make the wrong choice as the leading lady did. i mean, we all live under the illusions we make and sometimes, we wouldn't even know that it was, in fact, an illusion.
so, for the summary, i can tell you this simjple thing-- Anna (amy adams) was a successful lady who had this boyfriend, jeremy, who had been with her since like four years. so, when after four years, jeremy hadn't propose to her, she decided to take things into her own hands. you see, there was a tradition, Irish tradition that allowed girls to propose to guys on the 29th of february. so, she flew to ireland to join jeremy who was having a cardiology conference there to propose to him. however, things happen and she ended up in a small irish town--dingle, with absolutely no bus, taxi nor train. and of course, she met bar owner, Declan (matthew goode) and eventually they ended up on a journey together because declan needed the money. many things happen, including toasting the car, stepping into cow poo, and also, of course, a kiss. in the end, anna realized that she had everything she wanted, but nothing she needed. She wanted jeremy, but he wasn't what she needed. so, she flew 3000 miles back to ireland, and well, kinda proposed to declan, which ended with declan getting down on one knee and giving her the family ring.
i know this probably doesn't sound a romantic as i should be, but, i'm just saying, if you get the chance , go see it! it's a close-to-perfect replacement for a lost prom, but, well, worth it. i would really have been a stranger there. even though after looking at the pictures and regretting my absence, i still think i made the right choice. sounds complicated, eh? well, that's the very definition of a girl. at least the definition of me.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
i'm thinking...
English is so much better. i mean, when i want to vent my feelings, i can't possibly rack my brain to find some chinese words that don't come as quickly as english words tat can express myself perfectly, can i? i mean, when i start to think, all those feelings--happy, angry, frustrated--they all desappear, leaving me blank and eventually, nothing to write.
anyway, i'm just writing to say that i've found another great book! by little black dress, it doesn't have the usual things we all expect, but it's absolutely fantastic. very different from singletini, and incredibly british, with words like sort of, i suppose, would you care for a crust and all that! and of course, not forgetting an incredibly handsome, rich aristocracy who seems to have perfect manners and isn a bit like the arrogant mr. darcy everyone expects him to be (well, at least i did, sort of, just thought he might be the darcy kind.).
it's just another cinderella story with a cute little kid inside, plus a common girl and that irresisitable guy. very british writing, i felt as if i'm hearing their words in that accent and had me smiling all the way. i have to say this though, i'd never thought it might be good. i guess what they said was right--you never try, you'll never know.
i was reluctant to read it at first, after reading the summary. you see, the guy--the Earl of Arden, Edward, was married before, but the wife died. i don't usually read books about guys with wifes already, i mean, they sound so OLD. but, something came over me and told me i must read it, so i did. i was hooked from the very first page. it was nice, coz the wife was actually a , in short, a bitch and the whole marriage was just a sham. a lie. so i guess that's okay.
after all, who wouldn't fancy a rich handsome guy and a cinderella? a girl can dream, and it makes her happy.
anyway, i'm just writing to say that i've found another great book! by little black dress, it doesn't have the usual things we all expect, but it's absolutely fantastic. very different from singletini, and incredibly british, with words like sort of, i suppose, would you care for a crust and all that! and of course, not forgetting an incredibly handsome, rich aristocracy who seems to have perfect manners and isn a bit like the arrogant mr. darcy everyone expects him to be (well, at least i did, sort of, just thought he might be the darcy kind.).
it's just another cinderella story with a cute little kid inside, plus a common girl and that irresisitable guy. very british writing, i felt as if i'm hearing their words in that accent and had me smiling all the way. i have to say this though, i'd never thought it might be good. i guess what they said was right--you never try, you'll never know.
i was reluctant to read it at first, after reading the summary. you see, the guy--the Earl of Arden, Edward, was married before, but the wife died. i don't usually read books about guys with wifes already, i mean, they sound so OLD. but, something came over me and told me i must read it, so i did. i was hooked from the very first page. it was nice, coz the wife was actually a , in short, a bitch and the whole marriage was just a sham. a lie. so i guess that's okay.
after all, who wouldn't fancy a rich handsome guy and a cinderella? a girl can dream, and it makes her happy.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
不要吓倒。。。
我还是我啦。i'm still who i am. still the elizabeth-who-is-named-after-a-car-and-a-dog. just another ultimate plan to improve my chinese. so. there. just not to let u guys get a shock.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
刘轩，暂时爱上你。
先说明，我的华语程度，还是处于那种小学四年级程度，这还是我第一次，真正自愿写出的第一篇以华语为主，像是文章又不是文章的东西，还是我第一次用电脑以华语传达自己的思想。所以，如果错别字多，语病多，我只能说，请多多指教。 T.T
昨天听了刘轩的讲座，觉得自己真的有点逊色。他给我的第一感觉就是--刘墉年轻，帅气的版本。一开口说话，声音好好听。
其实，在刘墉今年来马演说前，我是几乎没看过他的书的。我妈每天都跟我说刘墉的“创造自己”啦，“超越自己”啦，让我去读。但我从来都没看，因为我其实是一个（朋友说的哦）“ang mo sai",从小就看英语书，英语戏长大的，看华语书也只有小学时期。上了中学，开始忙了，时间少了，看书的速度自然而然地必须快起来，而我看得最快的书，就只有英文书。而我可说是个无药可救的浪漫族，英文爱情小说又写得特别。。。so, 就这样，华语退步，到了一种只有我了解自己在写什么的一种境界。。。
刘轩的讲座，对我来说，前所未有，让我受益不浅。他让我学会以一个完全不同的角度看世界，以不同的心态去做每一件事，他那种Everything's cool的态度，实在令人佩服。一个人在那种环境下，还能觉得自己这副样子，很酷，很新鲜，是我，早就喊苦了。。。看着别人享受，自己受苦，虽然是自己的选择，我想，是我的话，退堂鼓打了千百次都不够。但刘轩竟能在那种一无所有的环境里觉得这很新鲜，我只能说，敬。我想，也许这就是我妈逼我看刘墉的书的原因吧，因为我妈想把我那这种奇怪的人生观念改变一下；也许也因为她不是刘墉，但想培养出一个像刘轩一样的孩子。哈哈，好像失败咯。。。
回到刘轩。他最令我羡慕，仰慕的地方不只是因为他对人生的这种看法。其实，我整个讲座里眼睛睁得最大的时候，就是他诉说哈佛大学里的生活。Harvard. it's not a simple thing. 还有，他为什么能进到哈佛，还考进我梦里才能见到的Juilliard音乐学院？！我本来就是一个稍微(don't laugh, this isn't an understatement. ) 倾于崇洋派的，也因为是看着英语电影长大的，一直都想着--那里真的是这样吗？看到外国留学回来的学生，总是羡慕得半死。想象得到，我听到刘轩口中流出的英语时，眼睛都来不及眨的那种状态呢。。。 一个能够到Harvard去的人，背后一定下了不少功夫，经过多少的苦，才能打好一个这样的基础。所以说嘛，成绩是很重要的。
刘轩的勇气也是我敬佩他的原因之一。一个人要放开一切，到一个完全不熟悉的环境去，勇气得多大，思想得多开放，身心得多坚强。刘轩，他放开手中的一切，背着背包，就到处去流浪了。也许很多朋友都会羡慕他，但谁想过它背后的故事，下过的一番努力呢？放开自己所有的，去迎接一个全新的东西，也不知道会发生一些什么，这种勇气，我没有。可能我一直以来都是那种名副其实的温室里之花，对什么都没有自己的意见，也没有自己的看法，一直都是在盲目的跟从，在家是这样，在学校更不用讲。也许，这就是我们教育失败之处，也就是我妈要我看看刘墉的书的原因（还是到回来了）。。。我觉得刘轩迷人的地方莫过于他对自己的自信，自己的主见。而我，呃，还有很长的路。。。
还有一点---流浪。我认为刘轩，他找到了自己想做的事，也做到了自己想做的事。他好像找到了自己活着的目的，找到了自己能够做的事--那事儿还能成为他人生中的事业---，找到了自己，非常不简单。我想做的事很多，但有时想来想去，这些事儿，若成了我的事业，我多半会饿死街头。我爱写作（当然是用英文），但全世界比我更厉害，更会写的人，随便丢块石头都能砸到。说到音乐，更不用讲。我的钢琴第8级，还是混着过的呢！这些都是我喜欢做的事，但我能像刘轩一样做自己喜欢做的事的那个机率，0.1都不到。。。
刘轩给我的另一个印象就是，他非常了解自己，认识自己。他知道自己要的是什么。而到现在为止，我觉得我都还没找到真正的自己，总觉得自己一直为了某些东西在变，变得不是以前的自己。可能我也需要流浪，才能知道自己真正属于哪里。。。到现在为止，只有在音乐里才感觉到自己最舒服，但可惜自己的音乐细胞。。。还是不讲好。写作这个问题，更不用说。
现在，我想，我还是从最小的做起，也就是慢慢改变自己的心态，让自己学会那种Everything's cool的心情。希望有一天，我也会找到自己想要的生活方式，然后像刘轩一样活得那么自信又灿烂。
昨天听了刘轩的讲座，觉得自己真的有点逊色。他给我的第一感觉就是--刘墉年轻，帅气的版本。一开口说话，声音好好听。
其实，在刘墉今年来马演说前，我是几乎没看过他的书的。我妈每天都跟我说刘墉的“创造自己”啦，“超越自己”啦，让我去读。但我从来都没看，因为我其实是一个（朋友说的哦）“ang mo sai",从小就看英语书，英语戏长大的，看华语书也只有小学时期。上了中学，开始忙了，时间少了，看书的速度自然而然地必须快起来，而我看得最快的书，就只有英文书。而我可说是个无药可救的浪漫族，英文爱情小说又写得特别。。。so, 就这样，华语退步，到了一种只有我了解自己在写什么的一种境界。。。
刘轩的讲座，对我来说，前所未有，让我受益不浅。他让我学会以一个完全不同的角度看世界，以不同的心态去做每一件事，他那种Everything's cool的态度，实在令人佩服。一个人在那种环境下，还能觉得自己这副样子，很酷，很新鲜，是我，早就喊苦了。。。看着别人享受，自己受苦，虽然是自己的选择，我想，是我的话，退堂鼓打了千百次都不够。但刘轩竟能在那种一无所有的环境里觉得这很新鲜，我只能说，敬。我想，也许这就是我妈逼我看刘墉的书的原因吧，因为我妈想把我那这种奇怪的人生观念改变一下；也许也因为她不是刘墉，但想培养出一个像刘轩一样的孩子。哈哈，好像失败咯。。。
回到刘轩。他最令我羡慕，仰慕的地方不只是因为他对人生的这种看法。其实，我整个讲座里眼睛睁得最大的时候，就是他诉说哈佛大学里的生活。Harvard. it's not a simple thing. 还有，他为什么能进到哈佛，还考进我梦里才能见到的Juilliard音乐学院？！我本来就是一个稍微(don't laugh, this isn't an understatement. ) 倾于崇洋派的，也因为是看着英语电影长大的，一直都想着--那里真的是这样吗？看到外国留学回来的学生，总是羡慕得半死。想象得到，我听到刘轩口中流出的英语时，眼睛都来不及眨的那种状态呢。。。 一个能够到Harvard去的人，背后一定下了不少功夫，经过多少的苦，才能打好一个这样的基础。所以说嘛，成绩是很重要的。
刘轩的勇气也是我敬佩他的原因之一。一个人要放开一切，到一个完全不熟悉的环境去，勇气得多大，思想得多开放，身心得多坚强。刘轩，他放开手中的一切，背着背包，就到处去流浪了。也许很多朋友都会羡慕他，但谁想过它背后的故事，下过的一番努力呢？放开自己所有的，去迎接一个全新的东西，也不知道会发生一些什么，这种勇气，我没有。可能我一直以来都是那种名副其实的温室里之花，对什么都没有自己的意见，也没有自己的看法，一直都是在盲目的跟从，在家是这样，在学校更不用讲。也许，这就是我们教育失败之处，也就是我妈要我看看刘墉的书的原因（还是到回来了）。。。我觉得刘轩迷人的地方莫过于他对自己的自信，自己的主见。而我，呃，还有很长的路。。。
还有一点---流浪。我认为刘轩，他找到了自己想做的事，也做到了自己想做的事。他好像找到了自己活着的目的，找到了自己能够做的事--那事儿还能成为他人生中的事业---，找到了自己，非常不简单。我想做的事很多，但有时想来想去，这些事儿，若成了我的事业，我多半会饿死街头。我爱写作（当然是用英文），但全世界比我更厉害，更会写的人，随便丢块石头都能砸到。说到音乐，更不用讲。我的钢琴第8级，还是混着过的呢！这些都是我喜欢做的事，但我能像刘轩一样做自己喜欢做的事的那个机率，0.1都不到。。。
刘轩给我的另一个印象就是，他非常了解自己，认识自己。他知道自己要的是什么。而到现在为止，我觉得我都还没找到真正的自己，总觉得自己一直为了某些东西在变，变得不是以前的自己。可能我也需要流浪，才能知道自己真正属于哪里。。。到现在为止，只有在音乐里才感觉到自己最舒服，但可惜自己的音乐细胞。。。还是不讲好。写作这个问题，更不用说。
现在，我想，我还是从最小的做起，也就是慢慢改变自己的心态，让自己学会那种Everything's cool的心情。希望有一天，我也会找到自己想要的生活方式，然后像刘轩一样活得那么自信又灿烂。
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Finally, the wait is over
gosh, i can hardly wait for the hols to start... why? well, mainly because that means exam is over. i've just finished--and by just, i mean really, i'm in school typing on my blog right now--my last exam with is like the most stereotype exam that i've ever had. um, hello, have anyone ever had an examination that you just memorize everything on the book and voila, you get all correct? not that i mean i can get all of themm right, i mean, my memory's a bit faulty and...anyway, you know what i mean.
this saturday is the camp i've been like dreading the whole year. i think i've mentioned before(and an awful lots of time at that) that i simply detest camps. i dunno why, maybe it's just a weird kinda phobia. we're in charge of the programme book and man, it's like a really simple thing made hard. i can hardly hold myself back to kill someone. even tho most of it is probably built oup from the tension of the exams.
this holidays dun mean enjoyment tho. i will be--and happily announcing this--taking my L license this holds. it probably means nothing, but watever. i'm still very excited.
and books. tiff, i simply ADORE Mr darcy!!! i mean, well, it might be a little too romantic and stuff, and really cheesy, but still! i love cheesy romance. it's so....intriguing. anyway, fot those of you who havent read the book, it's a bout this gal who loves mr darcy so much that she actually thinks that she'll marry him, went on a tour in london and saw the man himself. something like time travel, or the meetings of different worlds, old stuff, with a whole new kinda twist. i love it. partly because i'm also dying for Mr darcy, altho i'm a teensy bit more realistic. ok, maybe not that teensy.
uh oh. bell just rang. more later.
this saturday is the camp i've been like dreading the whole year. i think i've mentioned before(and an awful lots of time at that) that i simply detest camps. i dunno why, maybe it's just a weird kinda phobia. we're in charge of the programme book and man, it's like a really simple thing made hard. i can hardly hold myself back to kill someone. even tho most of it is probably built oup from the tension of the exams.
this holidays dun mean enjoyment tho. i will be--and happily announcing this--taking my L license this holds. it probably means nothing, but watever. i'm still very excited.
and books. tiff, i simply ADORE Mr darcy!!! i mean, well, it might be a little too romantic and stuff, and really cheesy, but still! i love cheesy romance. it's so....intriguing. anyway, fot those of you who havent read the book, it's a bout this gal who loves mr darcy so much that she actually thinks that she'll marry him, went on a tour in london and saw the man himself. something like time travel, or the meetings of different worlds, old stuff, with a whole new kinda twist. i love it. partly because i'm also dying for Mr darcy, altho i'm a teensy bit more realistic. ok, maybe not that teensy.
uh oh. bell just rang. more later.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
my first party
i think i'm still living a dream.
it's not actually my party. i kinda hosted it, but it was for another girl...kinda a surprise. but it was real fun. i hoped everyone enjoyed it. they sure seem that. anyway, i'm just writing so that it doesn't like, disappear from my memory.
it was on friday, the 19th of february. i hosted it for priscilla, who you might know as wen yun, whose b'day was on the 22nd. it was still CNY, you see, so it was kinda a CNY/b'day party. my parents went to school to fetch all of them, and of course it was kept a secret from P. i still cant belif she din figure it out. we were being really not subtle about the whole thing. well, whatever. we reached my home and all of them had a really embarassing--for me--tour around my house, pondering on all my childhood/idiotic/embarassing photos.
then we had dinner while my parents left the house( partly to give us our privacy). we had steamboat and were really kinda steamy, especially with all the 38 (sampat) talk, from all of us. wen mei insisted on watching a movie, and ci xin chose sorority row, which had almost everyone freaked out. can you imagine if they had saw SAW or the Omen, or whatever? anyway, i cleared up and then everybody stood by for the surprise--the cake.
P was actually quite--no offense, P, if you're reading---blur about it. she was actually singing the bday song with all the others, until she realized it was for her. i couldn't actually see her xpression, coz we had, as usual, being dramatic and all, turned off the lights. so, there. but she was definitely surprised, and well, i could say, nearly fell off her chair(or sofa). in quite a blur then, coz i can't really remember all that happened, we cut the cake ( yes, we) and took some pictures, which are really 38, and well, the pictures i'm going to post are really those when we are still sober.
then, instead of finishing the movie we started, we headed upstairs to --yep--karaoke!! and i really can't put the scene in words, as you can see, i'm speechless. not by the level of fun, which is really beyond imagination, but the 3838383838383838 things we did. maybe, when i'm outta my mind, i'll post the videos ( yes, someone went ahead and videoed the whole embarassing thin) up here. we atarted by singing our theme song--ah mei ah mei, which stands for wen mei, and suited her perfectly, and i think you can imagine how wild we went over that song. then we reverted to jay chow, eventually to taylor swift and then a few others and retired into my room for games.
for games, we had the sentnece game. first, (of course, at first, no one knew how it went xcept me) we put our names in a box. then any ohter ppl names in another box, whether it's a celeb's name or watever. then, a place , and an action in another. then, we had to draw one from each box and put it in a sentence. for example, Wen Yun and Neyo had a wedding in the storeroom... and Big Beauty (which is wen yi, who had the guts to claim herself so) and Mr Bean took off their clothes in the cupboard in 5sc1... conclusion is, we all had a good laugh. then we had the game MURDER WINK. it was fun, what with all the blur blur cops and the subtle murderers.
then it ended, at about 12.30 a.m. and even so, everybody was reluctant to go back (i'll take that as a sign you guys enjoyed it). and so, the dream ended. the very real dream which actually happend.
there, i really hope we have the chance to do this again before we all go on in our separate ways. this is the meaning of friends, of school, and of friendship. after graduation, well, i guess, we won't have that chace again. i think we all agree that we should have one prom night of our own right after graduation and SPM, right?
it's not actually my party. i kinda hosted it, but it was for another girl...kinda a surprise. but it was real fun. i hoped everyone enjoyed it. they sure seem that. anyway, i'm just writing so that it doesn't like, disappear from my memory.
it was on friday, the 19th of february. i hosted it for priscilla, who you might know as wen yun, whose b'day was on the 22nd. it was still CNY, you see, so it was kinda a CNY/b'day party. my parents went to school to fetch all of them, and of course it was kept a secret from P. i still cant belif she din figure it out. we were being really not subtle about the whole thing. well, whatever. we reached my home and all of them had a really embarassing--for me--tour around my house, pondering on all my childhood/idiotic/embarassing photos.
then we had dinner while my parents left the house( partly to give us our privacy). we had steamboat and were really kinda steamy, especially with all the 38 (sampat) talk, from all of us. wen mei insisted on watching a movie, and ci xin chose sorority row, which had almost everyone freaked out. can you imagine if they had saw SAW or the Omen, or whatever? anyway, i cleared up and then everybody stood by for the surprise--the cake.
P was actually quite--no offense, P, if you're reading---blur about it. she was actually singing the bday song with all the others, until she realized it was for her. i couldn't actually see her xpression, coz we had, as usual, being dramatic and all, turned off the lights. so, there. but she was definitely surprised, and well, i could say, nearly fell off her chair(or sofa). in quite a blur then, coz i can't really remember all that happened, we cut the cake ( yes, we) and took some pictures, which are really 38, and well, the pictures i'm going to post are really those when we are still sober.
then, instead of finishing the movie we started, we headed upstairs to --yep--karaoke!! and i really can't put the scene in words, as you can see, i'm speechless. not by the level of fun, which is really beyond imagination, but the 3838383838383838 things we did. maybe, when i'm outta my mind, i'll post the videos ( yes, someone went ahead and videoed the whole embarassing thin) up here. we atarted by singing our theme song--ah mei ah mei, which stands for wen mei, and suited her perfectly, and i think you can imagine how wild we went over that song. then we reverted to jay chow, eventually to taylor swift and then a few others and retired into my room for games.
for games, we had the sentnece game. first, (of course, at first, no one knew how it went xcept me) we put our names in a box. then any ohter ppl names in another box, whether it's a celeb's name or watever. then, a place , and an action in another. then, we had to draw one from each box and put it in a sentence. for example, Wen Yun and Neyo had a wedding in the storeroom... and Big Beauty (which is wen yi, who had the guts to claim herself so) and Mr Bean took off their clothes in the cupboard in 5sc1... conclusion is, we all had a good laugh. then we had the game MURDER WINK. it was fun, what with all the blur blur cops and the subtle murderers.
then it ended, at about 12.30 a.m. and even so, everybody was reluctant to go back (i'll take that as a sign you guys enjoyed it). and so, the dream ended. the very real dream which actually happend.
there, i really hope we have the chance to do this again before we all go on in our separate ways. this is the meaning of friends, of school, and of friendship. after graduation, well, i guess, we won't have that chace again. i think we all agree that we should have one prom night of our own right after graduation and SPM, right?
Saturday, February 6, 2010
NILAI
the nilai trip was by far the most interesting college visit i've ever visited. today's saturday, and also a studying day. but the whole of us 5sc 1 girls went on a trip to visit two colleges--Nilai and INTI. in Nilai, we were brought to the hospitality block to learn about --- COOKING!!! we made cream puffs, which they called choux pastry, which i think is rather classy. and we learned to make bread and butter pudding... which is really delicious... anyway, if you want more than the pics below, go to my facebook!!! and try not to be hungry when watching the pics...it's gonna be quite a task...
our "crafts"
mine is the right one in the front... beautiful, ain't it??
the chef's work... the chef worked with mariah carey, michael jackson, bill clinton, the sultan of brunei.... and many celebrities... god... envious...
top view...
explanation..
our "crafts"
mine is the right one in the front... beautiful, ain't it??
the chef's work... the chef worked with mariah carey, michael jackson, bill clinton, the sultan of brunei.... and many celebrities... god... envious...
top view...
explanation..
Saturday, January 30, 2010
AVATAR -- I SEE YOU
I see you.
yes. that'll be the sentence of the year. i know it's a bit too soon in the year to say that, but it's really really meaningful. i don't want to spoil the movie, but i just wanna say, james cameron is the greatest director ever.
i see you. i see into you, i see of you, i see onto you. respect, love, trust... there's so much in just one little sentence, and it's only three words. i dunno, but it speaks a lot. look at the movie and you'l understand.
savages. they say the Na'vis are savages. i mean, yes, i see their point--they live in trees, like animals, they communicate mostly with cries and yells. But, like the lyrics "you think i'm an ignorant savage..." the humans are more savage than the Na'vis. they kill, they murder without mercy, they destroy everything. the Na'vis respect the forest, they care and the do not murder without reason, and they definitely do not murder with pleasure. but humans... humans kill for pleasure. so, here's the real question--who is the savage? the Na'vis, or us?
i choose you. there's plenty of love, trust and innocence in this heartwarming movie. the Na'vis trust people so easily, they love, they believe. how i wish i can live in that kind of world, where there are no hate, revenge, spite, or everything of that sort. it's a wonderful thought, yes, but i believe, despite my beliefs that they do exist, i will yet get to live in that world. But i do believe.
avatar. i love the ending. i have thought they wouldn't be together, after all, they are from different worlds. but the ending, it makes this message clear--we are all the same.
we are equals.
yes. that'll be the sentence of the year. i know it's a bit too soon in the year to say that, but it's really really meaningful. i don't want to spoil the movie, but i just wanna say, james cameron is the greatest director ever.
i see you. i see into you, i see of you, i see onto you. respect, love, trust... there's so much in just one little sentence, and it's only three words. i dunno, but it speaks a lot. look at the movie and you'l understand.
savages. they say the Na'vis are savages. i mean, yes, i see their point--they live in trees, like animals, they communicate mostly with cries and yells. But, like the lyrics "you think i'm an ignorant savage..." the humans are more savage than the Na'vis. they kill, they murder without mercy, they destroy everything. the Na'vis respect the forest, they care and the do not murder without reason, and they definitely do not murder with pleasure. but humans... humans kill for pleasure. so, here's the real question--who is the savage? the Na'vis, or us?
i choose you. there's plenty of love, trust and innocence in this heartwarming movie. the Na'vis trust people so easily, they love, they believe. how i wish i can live in that kind of world, where there are no hate, revenge, spite, or everything of that sort. it's a wonderful thought, yes, but i believe, despite my beliefs that they do exist, i will yet get to live in that world. But i do believe.
avatar. i love the ending. i have thought they wouldn't be together, after all, they are from different worlds. but the ending, it makes this message clear--we are all the same.
we are equals.
Friday, January 29, 2010
photos...grossing you guys out...
here are a few shots we took during the dissection i told you bout. my cousin and i were the surgeons for the day, so you'll see a lot of us.. and the frog... see if you can detect which is the shot with the frog's testicles... ;P
p.s. the pictures' are in chronology form... from bottom up... mind this, kay???
p.s. the pictures' are in chronology form... from bottom up... mind this, kay???
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
frog... frog... FROG?!
twas a sunny monday when i crought a frog to school, heart heaving with the pain of pending separation. sigh, the frog's gonna die today. so long, my dear frog. hope you're not the prince i wanted.
yes. i killed a frog on monday, just because curiosity got the best of me. we dissected a frog, and mutated it beyond the morals of humanity. i know, i tried not to cause it any unnecessary pain, i drugged it until it's small little beating heart stopped beating.
the dissection was one of the biggest attraction i'd plan to attract members for the maths and science club, our club being almost hiding behind the skirts of others for too long. but i have to admit, even if it was cruel, it was a huge success. my club has now officially more than 40 members, better than last time.
i was so hoping it wouldn't feel any pain during the dissection, but halfway throught the dissection, it's heart started beating again. i was so scared, my guilty conscience getting the best of me, but i tried to convince myself, it was purely for educational purposes. my science geek part in me keep telling me that it can't feel a thing, that the beating of the heart is involuntary, but the writer part in me kept making up things... things.
but, looking at the beating heart, it was like a miracle. this little thing just keeps pumping till the end of the frog's life, our heart pumping till the end of our lives. i don't wanna gross you out, but even when we cut out the heart to end the frog's so-called agony, it was still pumping, even though it is no more connected to the body.
i couldn't sleep that night. i prayed for it, but deep in my heart, i knew, there's gonna be a time when i'm forced to do that again.
anyway, if i can get the pictures for the dissection, i would--i repeat-- i WOULD post it here!!! so, don't gross out and tell me waht you think!
yes. i killed a frog on monday, just because curiosity got the best of me. we dissected a frog, and mutated it beyond the morals of humanity. i know, i tried not to cause it any unnecessary pain, i drugged it until it's small little beating heart stopped beating.
the dissection was one of the biggest attraction i'd plan to attract members for the maths and science club, our club being almost hiding behind the skirts of others for too long. but i have to admit, even if it was cruel, it was a huge success. my club has now officially more than 40 members, better than last time.
i was so hoping it wouldn't feel any pain during the dissection, but halfway throught the dissection, it's heart started beating again. i was so scared, my guilty conscience getting the best of me, but i tried to convince myself, it was purely for educational purposes. my science geek part in me keep telling me that it can't feel a thing, that the beating of the heart is involuntary, but the writer part in me kept making up things... things.
but, looking at the beating heart, it was like a miracle. this little thing just keeps pumping till the end of the frog's life, our heart pumping till the end of our lives. i don't wanna gross you out, but even when we cut out the heart to end the frog's so-called agony, it was still pumping, even though it is no more connected to the body.
i couldn't sleep that night. i prayed for it, but deep in my heart, i knew, there's gonna be a time when i'm forced to do that again.
anyway, if i can get the pictures for the dissection, i would--i repeat-- i WOULD post it here!!! so, don't gross out and tell me waht you think!
Friday, January 1, 2010
New Year
and again, we bid goodbye to yet another year.
looking back at 2009, it's been an eventful--if not interesting--year. learning new things, new school stuf that i really don't like, saying goodbye, everything...
i dun really have much to say, but it's kinda sad... the new year is hhere too fast, for all of our sake...i'm 17 now, no more sweet sixteen. coming of age, there's gonna be a lot more responsibilities to come, more burdens to bear, more weight to pull me down to earth, preventing my freedom. it's weird, you know, thinking that after this year, i would be leaving for elsewhere to further my studies, assuming that i CAN further my studies, that is. it's just, after all those years of fantasizing about leaving this town, this country, these people i've come to know, that day's coming soon. frankly, i think everybody fantasizes leaving the confines of their so-called home sweet home. but when that day is right under your nose, only then you'll realise it's really home sweet home.
it's gonna be a frantic year, this i can promise you. we all have to grow up, and be tied to the chains of a routined life.
so, i'm not gonna say HAPPY new year, so, LUCKY NEW YEAR then...
looking back at 2009, it's been an eventful--if not interesting--year. learning new things, new school stuf that i really don't like, saying goodbye, everything...
i dun really have much to say, but it's kinda sad... the new year is hhere too fast, for all of our sake...i'm 17 now, no more sweet sixteen. coming of age, there's gonna be a lot more responsibilities to come, more burdens to bear, more weight to pull me down to earth, preventing my freedom. it's weird, you know, thinking that after this year, i would be leaving for elsewhere to further my studies, assuming that i CAN further my studies, that is. it's just, after all those years of fantasizing about leaving this town, this country, these people i've come to know, that day's coming soon. frankly, i think everybody fantasizes leaving the confines of their so-called home sweet home. but when that day is right under your nose, only then you'll realise it's really home sweet home.
it's gonna be a frantic year, this i can promise you. we all have to grow up, and be tied to the chains of a routined life.
so, i'm not gonna say HAPPY new year, so, LUCKY NEW YEAR then...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)