Almost Christmas

Five more days. Five more 24-houred, I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing days and it'll be Christmas with the New Year hot on its heels.

It's been a tumultuous year, what with SPM results and scholarships frenzies and the new school and friends. It's almost like I've got a new life, and without knowing, I've considered it my life for a long time now.

Scary, isn't it? My life a few months ago, staying at home, reading/writing fanfiction, waiting for results, applying for scholarships... It all seemed like another life, centuries ago. Like something you look back on after several decades, but was actually a few months ago.

I've been reading Eragon these past few days, and there was a sentence inside, something about Eragon looking back to life in Carvahall and feels like it's was another life, when it'd been only a few months he found Saphira. I'd thought nothing about it--god knows how many books have used that line.

But then I started writing this and... it came back. I'd never really understood it before, but now, I wonder.

Does big changes do that to you? Make a few days feel like years, and mere months became decades; make your previous life (be it months before or days before) feel like a dream?

Remember how we used to flip through these quotes and exclaim excitedly over the wonderful phrasing, the pleasing ring at how the words sound together, the picture it conjures? But how many times have we truly understand the quotes?

But growing up does that to you. It leads you across many many stages of life and various turns of events, experiences, and without knowing it, you go through exactly what those quotes say. And someday you'll come across the same quote you've read so many many years ago and find that you actually understand it.

That you actually can put yourself in that position and say the same thing.

Growing up isn't as fun as it was when we were three, or eleven, or even when sixteen. It wasn't about being able to tower over little kids (I skipped this part though. Unfortunately). It wasn't about being able to wear those blood-red high heels and elegant, long dresses and trench coats that the actresses and singers wear. It wasn't about being able to see the world.

Those are all parts of growing up, but not the definition of it. Not when you finally realised you're all grown up. Or almost.

Growing up would be the process of realising you have to live your life on your own, stand on your own feet, make your own decisions, and not rely on people to do that for you. You'll get help along the way, you'll get friends and advices. But you'll be alone when you live. You'll take the consequences alone. And those consequences aren't going to be a tap on the wrist, or simple lecture-off-your-ears anymore.

That is what leads you to understand those quotes, to actually say you've been through it.

And it ain't a trip in cotton wool either. As I said, big changes shapes your life, and eventually shapes these quotes. Changes are scary too, 'cause you'll never know what awaits. It could be a trip down hell for all you know.

How do you think people wrote those quotes, anyway? They don't jump out randomly. As Brom said, you can't scry what you haven't seen. (Okay. Danger alert. Eragon, go away.)

It's a lifelong process, eh, growing up? Just because you're 50 doesn't mean you're done growing. It's here *taps head* and here *taps chest where heart is* that matters.

So, Christmas. It must be something more, according to Taylor Swift. It could be this, coming another step closer to growing up.

OR it could simply be receiving new things and presents. :-)

So here's my present to you : Choose a quote, and tell yourself that every morning. Eventually you'll believe it. Eventually it'll come true. You could start with "I will give Vivien one dollar everyday as a kind act". *raise eyebrow* Ha. No, a good example would be "I will smile today no matter how much Vivien (or insert name here) pisses me off.*

ORRR, you could ignore me. XD I won't take offence.

Much.